I called him the blue man. It was in 1988 on a Sunday afternoon as I crawled through heavy traffic on highway 205 through Tracy that I saw him.
I wrote a poem about him. Once I showed that poem to my mother, but that was before I considered myself a poet. It was a time when I was in love with the word, “doom.” I was young then and returning to San Jose from Stockton where I had visited my mother for the afternoon.
I still see the blue man when I drive that road – even though the place where he stood is now the Walmart parking lot.
I still see the blue overalls he wore and the blue truck he was standing near. The small barn he was standing near was dark brown – the almost black-brown of decaying wood. Smoke was filling the sky as I watched.
The car in front of me moved four feet and I let my car creep forward. In the distance I saw the flashing lights of a fire engine turn off the freeway. The engine made its way down the ramp and onto the narrow frontage road below the line of slowly moving cars.
The smoke grew and I saw the first flames dancing on the roof of the little barn. My heart broke for him as it was clear that he was going to lose that little barn.
Traffic started moving a bit faster as the fire engine pulled into the little pasture passing the barbed wire fence and the two horses standing near the gate. As the engine came to a stop, four figures sprang from the vehicle. One ran towards the blue man, one stood looking at the scene with a radio to his ear, one started pulling a hose off the engine as the last one helped.
The car in front of me started moving faster and soon I was looking at the scene through my rearview mirror. Great clouds of smoke were rising and I saw the blue truck moving towards the horses. On the other side of the freeway another fire engine was speeding along with its lights flashing.
All the way home a poem built in my mind. I still remember the opening lines that poem. It wasn’t a good poem, but it started:
In a blue land
under a blue sky
a blue man lived
with burnt dreams
and smoldering hope.
On days like today, when the news is filled with fires and pictures of burnt towns – I see the blue man in my mirror sadly driving away and reconsider using the word, “doom.”
On days like today, I remember driving past the same place weeks later and seeing a barn burnt to the ground, blackened scorched ground and half burnt fence posts. I never saw horses again.
These days when I read of whole towns destroyed in a day and hundreds of thousands people being evacuated – my eyes look up and to the right, to that rearview mirror so many years ago.
To a blue man and dreams and lives turning to smoke.
Peace,
Andrew
Poor man. I hope he’s okay.
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There is always hope.
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i like the poem, Andrew. It fits a mood that I’ve been carrying all week. I can understand how the Blue Man would come to your mind from time to time as a distinct memory. It’s been a really tough week, I agree. . I am just distraught over the number of “missing” reported from the Camp Fire. I think we are going to experience a prolonged, and very difficult time. It hurts my heart for those living in the center of it all.
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It’s been a tough week. The news is bad enough, but the last two days the smoke here in San Jose is bad. With the missing count moving higher and the death toll increasing – it’s just heart breaking.
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Your “poese” (poetry/prose) is sadly beautiful and evocative, and the California fires are heartbreaking. What a terrible situation.
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It is a bad situation. The death toll is up to 56 and looks like close to 30,000 people are now homeless. 250,000 are still under evacuation orders.
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What a compassionate post, Andrew. These fires have been so devastating that it’s truly unreal. We’re in the bay area and our air has been affected from the Camp Fire that is 5 hours north of us. I feel for those with health issues where it’s a problem. Otherwise, it’s the least we can deal with when others have lost their lives, or have lost loved ones, or lost their homes. It’s just horrible, and I read the same ending date as you mentioned, by the end of the month.
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These fires are going to get worse as the drought wears on. What I find horrible is the speed at which this happened – it gave no time to evacuate the people mobility problems. After the fire is out, the scar will be there for decades.
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💖
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What a heartfelt tribute. The loss of lives is devastating. Prayers for the crews from many States who are battling the fire right now.
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There are a lot of crews out there, and they’ll be there for long time. Both fires are still advancing. Full containment isn’t expected until at least the end of the month.
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Even your prose sounds like poetry, Andrew. A lovely tribute to a heartbreaking scene. I saw some “before and after” pictures of the fire, it’s gut-wrenching.
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It’s heartbreaking to see the fires. I have a friend who lost his house in Paradise on Thursday. Sad. Sometimes I think I’ve always been a poet.
My teachers in high school and even college made the same comment you did – my prose has a poetic quality. I think a bit like that too – compressed language flowing from one place to another.
These days there is a category for it – prose poetry. Go figure.
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very sad to read about what is happening in California
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It is sad and likely to get worse next year.
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This is a very eloquent response to the state of our State, Andrew. I like the start to your Blue Man poem, have you revisited it/completed it? It is powerful prose.
Ω
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It’s one of those poems that just sits in an old folder. I look it on rare occasion. I’ve revisited the poem in a couple of prose essays, but have never tried a revision of it. I might. I just might.
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I look forward to seeing what you do with it.
Ω
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We’ll see what happens.
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Heartfelt, Andrew. My sister had to flee. I don’t know when these fires will end.
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I don’t see a good ending to these fires. Hope your sister is safe.
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I used to live in Chico and would drive up to Paradise with friends. You had to go up an incline to get there. It didn’t snow in Chico during the winter, but Paradise looked like white icing on top of a cake from their snow fall. It was a lovely place. Hard to believe it’s now in ashes.
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It was a beautiful place and it’s difficult to believe it was destroyed so fast.
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I almost bought a home there, and would have commuted to Chico (where I lived for a few years), but the prices were higher and I’m not a fan of snow.
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I’ve been considering a move to the gold country, but these fires have been causing me to reconsider.
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There have been several since I moved away from the area. Most frightening is the one that happened a few years after I moved. I would have been on the road where people died in their cars trying to go out of town.
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What an empathetic and heartfelt post, Andrew! The area near Chico that burned was so beautiful! I remember stopping at a spot next to the Feather River that was in the migratory path of the blue swallowtail butterfly and the trees, sky, and ground was filled with blue wings. So heartbreaking to see our beautiful state burning so often!
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It is a beautiful area. Sadly, I expect these fires to get worse over the next few years.
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