Friday Wisdom – Quilting

Today was the quilting group at church so here’s everything I know about making quilts:

I know a guy who writes songs about sewing machines – He’s a Singer-songwriter.

Sorry, but I don’t write many sewing jokes. I keep running out of material.

A little known fact: Christmas trees are bad a sewing. Yup, they keep dropping their needles.

Just hand over the seam ripper and slowly walk away …

Just know that when I give you a hug, I’m really checking to see if that fabric is wool or polyester.

My grandmother once told me, “as you sew so shall you rip.”

Did you know that Captain Picard of the Enterprise was an avid quilter? He was always saying, “Make it sew.”

I won’t say that quilts are superior to comforters – I refuse to make blanket statments.

One the quilters told us how she won a million dollars, but I suspect the story was fabricated.

I was going to tell you a joke about a blunt needle, but now it seems pointless.

Did you hear about the quilter who was also a standup comic? He left everyone in stitches.

I was embarrassed on the sewing forum website last night – I asked a question about embroidery on the wrong thread.

About Andrew Reynolds

Born in California Did the school thing studying electronics, computers, release engineering and literary criticism. I worked in the high tech world doing software release engineering and am now retired. Then I got prostate cancer. Now I am a blogger and work in my wood shop doing scroll saw work and marquetry.
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19 Responses to Friday Wisdom – Quilting

  1. Hahaha!!! Good ones, all. I’ll look forward to seeing the progress on your quilt. My sewing has been much more utilitarian lately: A couple of duffel bags to hold tools and gear in my car. Nice to have, but not as pretty as quilts. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. My girls knit. They’re frequently pointing out what sort of stitch was used for this or that sweater, etc. It’s cute. They’re 14 going on 80. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Baydreamer says:

    These are all great, Andrew, and “the wrong thread” is a perfect ending! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Sew it seams, you aren’t just good at quilting but giving us laughs about sewing too?? As a quitter when it comes to sewing, (I’m just too impatient and don’t like to rip out my mistakes), you made me find sewing funny. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Flojo says:

    Oh my gosh, how clever! I can’t quilt or sew, but you left me in stitches.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. The quilter who was a stand-up comic–hoo boy…

    Liked by 1 person

  7. jfwknifton says:

    I think you’ve done very well to make up as many as you have. I found this one on the internet but it’s not as good as yours, I;m afraid;
    Did you hear about the guy that quit his job at a quilt filling factory?
    He said he was fed up of feeling down…

    Liked by 1 person

  8. What great timing. I’m hand-quilting a doll quilt today! My 4-year-old granddaughter says her doll likes rainbow colors, so it’s lots of bright 2-inch squares.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Lots of fun there. 🙂 Are you going to show your quilt in a future post? I hope so. I do embroidery and love any type of sewing.

    Liked by 2 people

    • There will be a lot more quilt posts coming up. I didn’t make enough progress today to justify a picture, but soon. As we move into winter time here, I’ll be doing less outside and doing more in the sewing room.

      Liked by 2 people

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