Friday Wisdom – College

Today was our granddaughter’s university commencement ceremony. She received her Bachelor of Science degree. We’re one proud family today so here’s everything I’ve learned about college:

I told my father I was going to be an English Major. He said, “Good, better than a Canadian Captain.”

Math problem: “If I had two beer bottles in one hand and three in the other, what would I have?” Student answer: “A drinking problem.”

I was going to make a joke about sodium, but then I thought, Na …

I don’t tell jokes about school dances – the punch line is always too long.

The last thing the buffalo said to his son before he left for college was, “Bi-son.”

The hiking club at the local university is called, “the walking debt.”

There’s a move to pay college athletes for playing spots – Except in Tennessee – they’re Volunteers.

I told my mother I was going to clown college – she laughed.

I remember being so broke in college that I couldn’t pay the electric bill. Those were the darkest days of my life.

Did you hear about the spider who’s in college? He’s studying web design.

I studied history in college – but those days are gone.

A friend of mine is studying meteorology and just had a class on the effects of wind. She said the final was a breeze.

About Andrew Reynolds

Born in California Did the school thing studying electronics, computers, release engineering and literary criticism. I worked in the high tech world doing software release engineering and am now retired. Then I got prostate cancer. Now I am a blogger and work in my wood shop doing scroll saw work and marquetry.
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21 Responses to Friday Wisdom – College

  1. Congrats to your granddaughter on her college graduation and congrats to you for finding these perfect Friday funnies.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I like the ‘sodium’ one the best I think. 😀 Happy weekend!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. The final was a breeze. Ha! Lots of good ones, but that’s my favorite. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Thanks for the jokes, and congratulations to your granddaughter! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. kathy70 says:

    Congrats to your granddaughter and to her parents. I will so be stealing some of these jokes and appreciate the fact that they caused me to think for a bit. I truly love a thinking joke.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. jfwknifton says:

    Congratulations to your daughter, and no doubt to the parents who usually perform a number of vital tasks to give their children all the help they need. A great achievement, well done!

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Congratulations on your granddaughter’s achievement, Andrew. Thanks for the jokes.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Dave says:

    “…joke about sodium…” – good one! And congratulations to your granddaughter!

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Nice end to my Friday, Andrew!

    Liked by 2 people

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