Today was our granddaughter’s university commencement ceremony. She received her Bachelor of Science degree. We’re one proud family today so here’s everything I’ve learned about college:
I told my father I was going to be an English Major. He said, “Good, better than a Canadian Captain.”
Math problem: “If I had two beer bottles in one hand and three in the other, what would I have?” Student answer: “A drinking problem.”
I was going to make a joke about sodium, but then I thought, Na …
I don’t tell jokes about school dances – the punch line is always too long.
The last thing the buffalo said to his son before he left for college was, “Bi-son.”
The hiking club at the local university is called, “the walking debt.”
There’s a move to pay college athletes for playing spots – Except in Tennessee – they’re Volunteers.
I told my mother I was going to clown college – she laughed.
I remember being so broke in college that I couldn’t pay the electric bill. Those were the darkest days of my life.
Did you hear about the spider who’s in college? He’s studying web design.
I studied history in college – but those days are gone.
A friend of mine is studying meteorology and just had a class on the effects of wind. She said the final was a breeze.