This week we’ve had a friend visiting and today we’ll be taking her to the airport so here’s everything I told her about flying:
A good landing is one you can walk away from. An excellent land is one where you can use the airplane again.
Be careful of clouds withs silver linings – it just might be another airplane flying right at you.
The propeller on an airplane is just a big fan to keep the pilot cool. When it stops you can actually see the pilot starting to sweat.
The trouble with airplane jokes is that some are so bad that they don’t land.
It takes a long time to design an airplane – well, no one really wants a ground breaking design.
I came up with a great idea for a new kind of airplane, but I’m not sure it will fly.
Two wrongs don’t make a right, but two Wrights did make an airplane …
Like a new shirt, when you buy an airplane, you can’t keep the hanger.
The seats on most airplanes are so close together that I often get jet leg.
I was seating next to a crying baby and asked for a different seat to get away from it. Turns out you can’t do that if the baby is yours.
I threw my cell phone off the roof, but it landed on the driveway and broke into a million pieces. I don’t understand – I had airplane mode on …
Do you know the difference between an optimist and a pessimist? An optimist designed an airplane. The pessimist invented seat belts.
My friend said she was sick of going to the airport. It might be Terminal Illness.
I was scheduled to do a standup comedy show about airline flights, but it got canceled.