This is a series of posts about the music I listen to while writing. This time I’m up to a Harry Chapin song, Cat’s in the Cradle. This song was released in 1974 as a single and was on Chapin’s album Verities & Balderdash. It topped the US Billboard Hot 100 chart in December 1974 and was nominated for a Grammy in 1975. I was a freshman in high school when I first heard it and it immediately resonated with me in kind of a weird way — I didn’t particularly like the music of the song. The lyrics seemed a bit obvious, but still I knew it was an important lesson and figured a lot of people didn’t understand.
For those who’ve never heard this song, it’s the story of a father who’s too busy to spend time with his son. The song ends with the father as an old man and the son being too busy to spend time with his father. A bit of a morality tale – don’t have time for someone, they won’t have time for you. This is the exact opposite of the relationship I had with my father. My father was always there and I can’t think of a time when I needed him that he failed to do his best. He didn’t always do what I wanted and sometimes his help was more of a burden, but if I called, he showed up. We always managed to find time for a phone call or visit. I’ve heard from many people that this song speaks to them because it speaks to the pain and feelings of abandonment they have with their parents.
Still there is something about this song that makes me always want to listen to it again and again. Chapin doesn’t waste time getting into the story when in the third line we hear, “But there were planes to catch and bills to pay.” The last verse of the song is a turnabout when we find that son now is too busy to spend time with his father. This is foreshowed in the first verse when the son says, “I’m gonna be like you dad …”
Interestingly Chapin based this song on a poem his wife, Sandra Gaston, wrote about an awkward relationship between her first husband and his father. Chapin then turned this into a speculation about his relationship with his young son, Josh. Gaston and Chapin often shared each other’s writings and often inspired each other. In the research I’ve done, I can’t find anything to suggest that Chapin was anything but a good father. Chapin is quoted as saying that this song scares him to death.
That’s what attracts me to this song — the notion that how we treat others is exactly how they’ll treat us. That’s kind of scary if you think about it too much. The other thing that attracts me to this song is the quality of the writing. It’s good solid poetry. Take the chorus. He starts with two lines that reenforce the feeling of childhood with the lines, “And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon / Little boy blue and the man in the moon”. All four phrases are childhood things, cat’s cradle — a game, silver spoon — a gift given to babies (and a hit at being a privileged child), little boy blue — a nursery rhyme and finally man in the moon — a reference to things we tell children about the moon. Note that some covers of the song change “man in the moon” to “man on the moon”. The last three lines tell the whole story and make it clear that the son wants the father to come home, but everyone knows this is never going to happen, a classic case of dramatic irony. “When you comin’ home, Dad? / I don’t know when, but we’ll get together then / You know we’ll have a good time then”
That good time never comes. The chorus stays the same until the last two when dad and son are reversed and we hear, “When you comin’ home son … we’ll get together then Dad …” and then the circle is completed.
Chapin has plenty of other places in this song when he has a way of telling volumes with just a single phrase like, “What I’d really like, Dad, is to borrow the car keys.” Here the son is clear that he doesn’t want to spend time with his father and is likely acting in just the same way his father has. You can feel the hurt in the line.
This song ends up on my writing playlist because of the quality of the writing and it’s strong story telling plus the way it disturbs my mind when I hear it. It’s a reminder to me that not all stories are happy and that in writing we have to confront the disturbing and uncomfortable aspects of our world.
Sadly, Chapin died young in 1981 as the result of a car accident and a lot of creativity died with him.
Here’s a YouTube link to Chapin’s original version of the song:
Not too many people have covered this song, Johnny Cash did one along with a few others, but interestingly the most popular cover was in 1992 by the hard rock Band Ugly Kid Joe:
I still prefer Chapin’s version, but Ugly Kid Joe brought something to the song so it deserves mention.
Andrew's View of the Week 
I always liked this song and especially its message. I was in college when it came out and it was played often in the dorms. But I wonder how many of us truly took the message to heart.
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I think many of us failed to take it to heart until we were much older.
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Loved this song back when. (And still do.) My son was just six years old when it was released and it gave me a lot of food for thought. Lessons, as it were. Reminders, cautionary notes, etc.
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It’s given a lot of people food for thought. I’ve read a number of interesting stories about how this one has affected people’s lives.
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This is another of my favourites – I love Harry Chapin’s music! This song always gives me the shivers, and it did back when I heard it the first time as an almost-teen. Even then I heard the loss and regret, but I truly understood it when my mom died when I was 19. It’s a hard lesson to not take loved ones for granted. I still love the song even though it tugs my heartstrings.
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It is an emotional song and really makes me think about how I treat family and people in general. It is a hard lesson. It’s hard not to think of all the things I should have done with my parents when I had the chance.
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I too liked that song. I took it more as a nod to the busi-ness of life, nothing negative. The child definitely still felt loved and part of something bigger.
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It can be seen that way, but some folks have deep hurts that this song can bring to the surface.
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This one makes the list of the top ten or twenty hits of my formative years. I would’ve been twelve when it came out. I’m not surprised to find I don’t recognize much of Chapin’s other work – not that he was a one-hit wonder. I also somehow associate Chapin’s songs with those of Cat Stevens (“Morning Has Broken”) and Gordon Lightfoot (take your pick); I think all were storytellers. And credit to my brother – four years older than me – for introducing a lot of the music of early 70s well before I would’ve discovered it myself. I’m sure “Cat…” was burned into my brain from countless plays of Chapin’s LP’s on the home stereo.
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Chapin didn’t have that many chart topping songs even though he was known as a great singer and songwriter. Taxi and Cat’s Cradle are the two big ones. He did a lot of concerts and studio work. He was also a big activist for arts projects and hunger relief. He was killed while driving to a benefit concert he gave. I discovered much of his other music after I was an adult, not as a teen. His biggest legacy is the Harry Chapin Foundation that his wife and son run in his honor giving grants to arts programs and such.
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This has always been one of my favorites, Andrew. I grew up when you did (I started high school in 1975) and one thing I loved most about the music was the stories that so many songs of that time told. My parents were divorced when I was five. It wasn’t a common thing in the 60’s and had its own baggage with it for me as a child, as society was not kind to children of divorced parents and there was certainly a stigma attached. My biological father was non-existant by the time the song came out. I guess it added to the feeling I had of not having a parent. I am not saying this for any type of sympathy, but just to express my understanding. I have always been watchful with my own parenting – in part as a result from this song I expect – as I feel it had a large impact on me throughout my life. Thanks for your assessment of it. (PS: I love these posts!) Have a great day!
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A lot of people identify with this song and I’ve heard many times the exact same thing you’re saying. I have been enjoying writing these and will be doing a few more.
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