Friday Wisdom – Christmas

Well, you likely guessed the wisdom subject of the week, yup Christmas. We’ve put up a lot of decorations and the family has heard most of my Christmas wisdom so now it’s your turn.

Santa’s elves are commonly known as subordinate clauses.

On the day before Christmas, Adam was heard saying, “Hey, it’s Christmas, Eve!”

I’ve got a great Christmas Lighting joke – this one will sleigh you …

Santa deposits the Elves wages in a Snow Bank.

I heard about a blind reindeer – I have no eye deer what to call it.

What’s red, white and blue? A sad candy cane

My grandson says he doesn’t believe in Santa – the kid’s a rebel without a Claus.

Christmas lights are like co-workers, half don’t work and the other half aren’t that bright.

I’m a little disappointed that my Christmas lights go out more often than I do.

It’s just possible that the Christmas lights are a filament of your imagination.

My neighborhood has a tallest Christmas tree competition. After seeing the all the entries I thought, “How am I going to top that?”

I read that reindeer put hornaments on their Christmas trees.

Did you hear about the person who stole Advent calendars? He was sentenced to 25 days.

The most common Christmas wine: “I don’t like Brussels spouts.”

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Wednesday Christmas Lights

With Thanksgiving and family in town, there hasn’t been much going on in the shop, but we’ve been putting up the Christmas lights and decorations. I’ve been doing the outside lights and so far have about half of what I want to put up setup.

The courtyard display.
Stagecoach hauling a snowman.

My cellphone camera doesn’t show it very well and of course it looks better in person.

The deer on the lawn.

I am putting lights around the roof, but didn’t order enough lights. My son-in-law came by last weekend with our grandson and put up all the hooks we needed along with one string of lights. I seriously miscalculated the amount of lights and have ordered three more 100′ strings to finish the job. There are a couple of trees that I’ll be adding lights too as well. Turns out to be more work than I thought.

That’s it for this week. If you need me, I’ll be out on the ladder putting up more lights.

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Thursday Wisdom – Thanksgiving

Here in the states, it’s Thanksgiving day and many of us are getting ready to overeat and hang out with family and friends. I was going to post an after Thanksgiving day report, but my neighbors have already started to put up their Christmas lights so I’ll be out early trying to compete with them and won’t be on the computer. Well, here we go, everything about turkey day:

Interesting fact – Thanksgiving is not celebrated in the county of Turkey.

Just read that the police arrested a turkey, it’s suspected of fowl play.

My wife has asked me to stop telling Thanksgiving jokes, but I told her I couldn’t quit “cold turkey.”

You know you’ve had too much Thanksgiving dinner when you have to let your bathrobe out.

Did you hear that the turkey joined the band? Well, it already had drumsticks.

Which side of the turkey has the most feathers? The outside …

Why are cranberries red? They saw the turkey dressing.

The turkey ask for a glass of wine, so I gave it a goblet.

Remember, life’s a gourd, and then you pie.

Did you know turkeys can jump higher than a house? Yup, houses can’t jump.

Remember to set your bathroom scale back 10 pounds for Thanksgiving.

The pastor has asked me to stop bringing my turkey to church – it keeps using fowl language.

Last year on my way home from Thanksgiving I got pulled over by a cop. Apparently I exceeded my feed limit.

Finally, there is always something to thankful for on Thanksgiving – even if it’s just not being the turkey.

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Threshold

Threshold is the single word prompt for the church’s writer’s group this month. I struggled with this one a bit and ended up writing two pieces. I thought a poem would be nice, but then I didn’t really like what I wrote so I did something with more prose in it – you might call it a prose poem. Still, that one wasn’t exactly what I was thinking of so I just took both writings to the group and read them both.

The first piece is titled, Threshold while the second piece is titled, Threshold. Please read them and let me know which you think is the better piece, Threshold or Threshold. Spoiler alert: the writing group thought Threshold was better …


Threshold

0.7 volts.
The minimum energy required for a transistor to start working.
Once crossed, amplifiers amplify and music is heard.
Below the threshold lies silence and a gentle breeze.

Threshold
divides the two worlds.
From the portal he stands
looking towards her.
An open barrier he can’t cross
until 
a word and a step
takes flight leading to the next

Threshold
a rock sits at the summit
for eons unmoving
until
a push beyond inertia
sets the rocky cascade.

Standing at the end,
Looking back will we look back
at thresholds crossed
or
just fall through the last door
with our song unsung.

Threshold

0.7 volts is the semiconductor threshold.  Below this voltage, diodes, and transistors won’t conduct electrons and radios, phones and computers don’t work.  Set the circuit so that the voltage across the diode is above .7 and current flows – amplifiers amplify, computers compute and all the high tech magic comes to life.

Threshold, that energy level needed to overcome inertia.  You can push on a table, but it doesn’t move until a certain minimum force is reached. A boulder on a mountain top might sit there for centuries until just the right force comes along and sends it crashing down the hill.  Your car idles at the stop light until you move a small muscle in your foot, unleashing the power of the engine. 

There is an emotional threshold, an intellectual threshold – a minimum effort needed to start a relationship or learn something new.  Ever need to call a plumber? Think of the effort to find one, call, make the appointment, and then wait for them to arrive.  Sometimes we just let the faucet leak instead of making that call.

How many new friends have I not made because I couldn’t take the effort to say, “Hello.”  How often do we miss out because we won’t move our hand, meet a glance or take just one step?

Threshold, that thing on the floor. That thing that defines a door – a separation from one place to another and one time from another.  I remember being 18 and having the feeling of standing on the threshold of life.  So many doors to choose.  Picking one meant rejecting another.  Joining the Navy would end my life at home while going to school would take me to a safer high tech career.  Even today I, I look back through the portals I have past and wonder if I stepped over the right threshold.

It’s easy to second guess the past.  The view on the other side of the door is different – the room changes as we enter and walk through to the next decision point.

Doors can be walked through, but they also enclose us.  Threshing is the process of removing grain from the stem and a threshold keeps the valuable grain on the threshing floor.  Some doors are slammed shut on us – death of a loved one, loss of a job.  Some doors we close. Sometimes a door needs to be shut and barred to protect us.

Sometimes a threshold shouldn’t be crossed. Violence, anger, and hate take us to rooms that tear us down, render us less than when we entered.  Some words can’t be recalled, some doors won’t close.

0.7 volts, the minimum energy we must spend to start the current of life flowing.

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