I haven’t been blogging much as other projects have been taking up all my headspace, but I thought I post this to see what you think. I’ve been working on a post-apocalyptic novel/story/thing for what seems like forever and recently have been revisiting this thing to see if I should continue or just give up.
Anyway, here is my opening paragraph along with a thing I’m putting at the beginning of each chapter. I’ve tried to write this a a liner story, but my story telling so far has been a bit fractured so I’m just owning that and showing two fractured pieces. The working title is North and East and is about a city that has grown out of the ruins of the California coast near San Luis Obispo.
On this Date in History:[1]
In 2094 Lt Col David West lead the 35th Homeland Guard Regiment in the battle of Soledad which established the northern frontier of the City for the next 50 years until his grandson, Col Jose West, lead the 1st City Regiment which included elements of the 2nd City Calvary, 1st Homeland Guard Battalion and was supported by four airplanes from the Vandenberg Fixed Wing Squadron in the battles of Salinas and Monterey thereby securing the whole length of the Salinas River Valley for the City on the very same day in 2144.
[1] From the Vandenberg Times, May 24, 2277
Chapter One: City at Night
The explosion ripped through the empty restaurant, shattering windows, cups, plates, and sent the remains of a door flying into the dark street. In the silence after the blast, alarms started their cry, fire sprinklers started, and a broken water pipe shot a fine stream of water into the celling of the small storage room where the explosives had been hidden. A ruptured gas line in the wall hissed and methane filled the air with a musty rotten egg fragrance just before a second blast sent flames into the night.
Sargent Owens was staring at the time on his computer screen waiting for it to click over to 04:00, so he could leave the command room and have his lunch. At 03:57 his screen burst to life, and six voices were demanding his attention over his headset. Whatever it was, it was big and his crew of dispatchers were shocked into life as alarm after alarm filled the screens and headsets.
So fellow bloggers, let me know what you think. Would you read more of this silliness?
Andrew's View of the Week 
A very good article. Please keep up your informative work.
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I would like to know what happens next.
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It might be awhile but I’ll do more later.
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Okay, there’s something here. How long has the story been nudging at you? What is it ultimately about? The opening paragraph didn’t draw me in, but maybe because it’s one sentence filled with too many details. The opening of Chapter One is terrific!
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I’ve been picking at this story off and on for about 10 years.
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There’s something there. I’ve followed you long enough to sense that Something Profound is nudging at you. You just might want to set aside certain times to mine for it deliberately!
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I am happy to see you following your heart and experessing yourself through your writing. It is a great outlet and I think you should continue with writing as long as it gives you pleasure.
I will be honest in saying that post apolyptic stories are not something I enjoy very much. I think it is because I find enough misery in the world today and it tends to deflate me emotionally. Isn’t that silly? My partner Keith loves the genre though and I see many others do as well. So that is just my personal preference and it has little bearing on how I feel about your writing.
I think it is exciting to explore writing as a creative venue. I also think that as long as you are enjoying what you are doing, you should keep writing and sharing your writing if you feel so inclined. (Who knows – perhaps my mine will be changed by your stories.)
Thank you so much for sharing.
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Not everyone likes this genre. This story has been in my brain for a long time.
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I, too, noted the very long sentence. As a retired editor, it’s the sort of thing that tends to stop me in my tracks. I also was distracted by the indented paragraph, something I haven’t seen for a very long time. Those are just two examples of why I haven’t tried to read any books in my retirement. I get too distracted by all sorts of editing details that ruin the experience for me. But don’t let my hang-ups discourage you from writing your heart out if you have a story to tell.
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I’m still very much in the draft phases and mostly playing with ideas, not editing.
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I know. I just can’t help myself. It’s an affliction I’ve been unable to cure.
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I’m getting into apocalyptic literature so I enjoyed this start.
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I’ve always like this kind of stuff.
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I enjoyed it Andrew. I like the idea of On this Date in History however, it has quite the run-on sentence so needs to be edited. 🙂
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That’s what I told the newspaper editor, but I guess they were so rushed that they didn’t send it to the copy editor. 😉
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Cheeky devil!
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Sure I would. Keep going, Andrew.
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Thanks!
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Ask me later. I was a beta reader for Craig Matthew’s next book, keeping track of people and places in the future, including Mars, which is a stretch for my fibro-brain. Next book, meaning the sequel to “Charity’s Fire,” which comes out Thursday! (It also gave my brain a workout, but didn’t include Mars.)
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None of my story is on Mars, so there’s that. 😉
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Intriguing. Yes, I want to know what happens already. Hehe.
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I’ll write some more. 🙂
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Yes, it’s a great beginning… now, we have to know what happens to Sargent Owens.
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Well, he didn’t get lunch that day …
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He sure didn’t. So, do you have MORE to share with us?
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Eventually. 😉
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Summer writing… 😉
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Great! Pulled me in right away.
I always get a sense of fulfillment when I’ve completed something creative. Good for the soul….Creativity, no matter what the form, keeps us young.
Looking forward to reading more!
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Creativity does keep me going.
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