Today I’m going to do something very different on this blog. I’m going to write the post first, then I’ll create a title for it. I know, radical thinking and breaks all the rules of careful writing that I don’t follow.
I almost always write a title first and then write something that matches the title. Me and titles don’t always get along. Do you remember those reading tests in grade school where after reading a passage you were asked to select the best title? I always got those wrong and could never figure out why the correct answer was correct. It’s a childhood trauma that still haunts me.
Likely that’s why I always pick short titles for my writing – poems, stories and blog posts. If there’s a single word that is even remotely related to the piece I am writing, I’ll use it under the theory that if it’s vague enough, you’ll think I’m being artistic or poetic and will cut me a break if the title and writing don’t quite match up.
To all my grade school teachers: A story with a red dog in it can be titled “The Red Dog” and doesn’t have to be “Billy and His New Friend.” !!!
I was thinking that today I might write about the covid-19 thing. Maybe you’ve heard of it. There are a ton of titles that could be explored, Social Distancing for Extroverts, Spam is a Basic Food Group, Toilet Paper, or Propane.
Yes propane. I think the news media missed out on the masses of people hoarding propane and lining up for hours to get their BBQ tanks filled. Everybody has gotten distracted by the extreme toilet paper buyers to notice, but I have it from a first hand source that there is a run on propane.
My grandson works at a convenience store and one of his jobs is to fill propane tanks. The first week of the shelter in place order he said that he spent most of his 12 hour shift filling propane tanks. I can believe it – first thing I think of when getting quarantined for a virus is, “Do I have enough propane to BBQ that tri tip I have in the freezer?”
We all know that BBQ is so important in recovery from any cold, flu, or viral infection and with so many people being affected there is surely going to be a massive shortage of the fuel.
I checked the CDC website and stocking up on propane is not mentioned anywhere, so clearly there is a government coverup going on here, but don’t worry – I’ll expose the issue.
I figure I can use my power of creating a bad title to hide the fact that I am exposing their carefully crafted lies. We have to have the news hit as many news outlets as possible before the FBI catches on to what I’m doing and the real secrets I know.
“The Red Dog” might be a good title for a blog that exposes this coverup. Who would think to look there for info on propane-gate.
But, there is the old question: Where do you hide a tree?
Right, in the forest, therefore I’ll just title this post, Propane.