I’ve had a busy week sitting around waiting for my body to heal. Let’s see, I’ve sat at my computer and edited some videos (hope you liked my meditation video), wrote some stuff and did a bit of work for the office. I’ve been spending an hour a day in my workshop cutting on my scroll saw – finished the space ship puzzle I’ve been working on. Then I ate my lunch out on the back patio before returning to the big easy chair in the living room where I’ve been watching Heather put a 2000 piece puzzle together in the evenings. I’ve walked around the block every day and on Thursday Heather took the big risk of letting me drive us to Starbuck’s for a fancy drink – first time behind the wheel since surgery. The highlight of the week was going to a friend’s home last night for dinner.
Yup, it’s been a week just chuck full of excitement.
But that’s how it is with recovering from a major event like surgery. Each day brings the joy that there is something I can do again and each day there is a reminder of what I still can’t do.
Well, like yesterday. Normally Heather and I do the grocery shopping together. I drive, push the shopping cart, cross things off the shopping list and do the heavy lifting while Heather selects the food and fills the cart with things that aren’t on the list. After surgery Heather ended up having to do all the shopping on her own. Yesterday we decided I’d come along and do what I could.
I was able to drive, monitor the list and push cart. That was about it. Currently I am limited to lifting no more than ten pounds so except for a box of cereal and a half-gallon of milk I was useless in the heavy lifting department. Yes, it’s a bit of a bruise to my male ego to stand by and watch Heather loading the cat litter into the car.
It’s now that misty in-between state of healing – don’t feel bad enough to need the pain pills but don’t have the strength to do much. It’s also that place where I fear that if I over do, I’ll set myself back but at the same time feel that I’ll delay my recovery if I don’t push myself to do more each day.
It’s all back to time. Healing takes time like I talked about last week. Now that more time has passed I can start to really feel the recovery taking hold. I’ve been feeling for a few days that I am at that next stage – picking up the threads of my life that I dropped.
The timing of my surgery was a bit unexpected. I saw the surgeon in July but since it was classified as “elective” surgery I was put on the bottom of the schedule and had to wait. Eventually they called back and said they could schedule me for 9/13. Then I got a call and was told there was a cancellation and would I like to have surgery two weeks earlier. Well, it was a bit of a shock but we figured better to get it over with so I said yes and started closing down my life.
Perhaps that’s a bit over dramatic to say it that way but when I started to tell people and we started to make plans it felt like putting life on hold. Suddenly the answer to many questions became, “after I’ve recovered.” Worries and plans were set aside.
Now on this side of the event it’s time to start finding those threads I dropped and start picking them up.
As I start to emerge, I think about the changes coming at my job, the projects I wanted to complete in the workshop by Christmas and the changes I was thinking about making in this blog – about the different directions I can take my writing and other artistic interests.
Soon, I’ll be able to lift 20 pounds and by the end of the month the weight restrictions are off.
So it is with the threads of life that got dropped. I can now pick up a few and soon will be able to manage them all.
But while I look at the pile of threads at my feet, I wonder if I really need to pick them all up. Some, while part of my life a few weeks ago, I now wonder if they shouldn’t just be left on the ground.
But that is another post.