It’s dangerous, but I’ve been thinking about stuff lately. I mean about important stuff and not just trivial things. You know world changing things like should I get a hair cut or finally let it grow long enough to tie in a pony tail. If I did that, what kind of tie-dyed tee-shirts would I wear? Should I get ones with big yellow swirls or maybe some red and blue blotchy ones.
I guess I’d have to make my own if I wanted to do it right. I’m just not sure what to do with the left over dye – is it okay to just let it go down the drain and let the water treatment plant deal with it? I could dig a hole in the backyard and pour it in there, but that might kill my plants. What would happen if I poured the old dye near the tomatoes and then I eat one of those tomatoes – would it be deadly or just make me sick?
There’s a lot to think about, when you think about it. Like, how much of myself should I reveal on this blog and how do I not start every sentence with “I.” It’s a personal essay blog so it’s easy to say, “I” and “Me” a lot. Well, given that I write in first person that is. Maybe I could write this personal stuff in third person – that would stop me from using “I”. Well, no, that might be too weird.
Weird is one reason why I don’t talk about certain personal things on this blog. I know many of you have this idea that I spend all day writing, quilting, working in the yard and building stuff in my workshop like some modern hyper-enlightened renaissance man. I just wonder if you’d be shocked to learn that I put almond milk on my cereal, eat popcorn when watching TV and that I don’t eat ice cream. I used to eat ice cream, but then I stopped and politely refuse any ice cream people want to serve me. This includes whipped cream, I don’t eat whipped cream. Do you eat or drink or slurp whipped cream?
This isn’t to say that I don’t like ice cream or whipped cream – well that’s not true, I don’t like either anymore. Ice cream upsets my tummy and whipped cream is just weird. I don’t make a big deal out of it or demand that ice cream factories be shutdown. I know that I should be involved in the mission of all hyper-enlightened renaissance men to seek justice, awareness and accommodation for ice cream-free people everywhere. I know I’ve been falling down there as I’ve not even filled a lawsuit against Starbucks for that time when they put whipped cream on my hot chocolate after I said, “No whipped cream.”
I know, you’re all now disappointed in me and will likely stop following this blog.
Now, in the name of full disclosure, I should mention that I cut my finger in the workshop last week. Yeah, a perfect woodworker, following all the safety rules shouldn’t cut a finger, but I did. I’ve compounded the failure by not posting a long video about it on YouTube or calling my lawyer to get the product liability lawsuit going or at least post on Nextdoor about the dangers of using power tools. I did think about posting a picture of the wound here on this blog, but sadly my camera just doesn’t have the magnification to show anything that small.
I was going to write a serious post about important stuff I was thinking of, but that got sidetracked when I found that my barber doesn’t have an appointment opening this week and I’d have to go at least another week without a haircut.
So, I promise, after my haircut, I’ll be back to share with you how we’ll save the world and create universal love and a peace on earth that will last until we colonize Mars.
If your Nextdoor community is the same mindset as ours, you’d post about some power tool menacing the neighborhood and causing injuries and “watch out, people!”, when in fact it’s just you getting the injury from your own power tool in your own workshop. Our Nextdoor community loves to take personal issues and make them everybody’s issues. If I only viewed my neighborhood through the posts I see on Nextdoor, I’d move, like yesterday.
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Our Nextdoor is exactly like that.
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Go for the tie-dye and ponytail. Grateful Dead forever, man!
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I will!!! maybe … 😉
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‘They’ seem to have ramped up the Mars exploration. Obviously some folks want to mess up another planet.
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I think some have their eyes on the whole solar system …
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I could really relate to this one particularly around the haircutting issue. During the pandemic my hair got pretty long but I’m in my 80s. Long hair at my age? Does it make me look like I’m trying to be young and failing miserably? Aftrr a month of obsessing I decided to cut it but then I wanted to do it right that very minute and my stylist was not available so I went to the local No-Name walk-in. I’m no longer obsessing about my hair. I’m just staying in.
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Once it starts getting hot here, I’ll like be looking for anyone to just cut it off! 😉
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Thanks for the chuckles, but I’m sorry to hear that you and ice cream have divorced. I’ve been in love with ice cream all my life, and so far I’ve been lucky that it has returned my devotion. (Or maybe it’s only tolerating me; who knows?) At any rate, it hasn’t launched an all-out attack, so I guess that’s good.
Although… I have noticed in the past few years that bought ice cream isn’t as tummy-friendly as it used to be. All the gums and stabilizers don’t agree with me, so now we make our own ice cream. It’s just as yummy; and we know exactly what’s in it. Plus, I get to play with new flavours like coconut cream and pumpkin spice as well as the usual vanilla/strawberry/chocolate/maple walnut; although they’re delicious, too! Does all dairy bother you, or is it only ice cream? (Because clearly you need more things to think about – maybe you need an ice cream maker.) 😉
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I’ve always been a bit lactose intolerant (part of the reason I use almond milk) and after my gallbladder surgery I became more sensitive to fats plus I don’t really like cold foods (like freezing things) so ice cream just hit so many negatives that I just stopped eating it. Sometimes I will get a sorbet or a nice cold drink. My wife does make nice fruit smoothies with almond milk that I like, but the fats and lactose in most milk products just don’t agree with me.
Still, I accept that there are people out there who have weird habits and tastes.
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Yep, it sounds as though you definitely have irreconcilable differences with ice cream! That’s okay – it just means there’s more for me. 😉
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🙂
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New here, but you sound down. I clicked on you because I saw a cat in your picture. Doesn’t your cat make you smile? I found a way to diminish the sulks, lift your spirits, and squeeze out that smile on those “bad hair days.” How? No secret, just ask…
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I have three kitties and sometimes post pictures of them here. Never confuse satire with sadness …
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Nope. Would not be disappointed, Andrew. Love the idea of a tail.
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The question will be if I can tolerate long hair long enough for it to grow long enough to tie up.
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Ya know, I just really like the way you think! Thanks for giving us an “inside” look at your thought processes. They resemble mine a lot, so maybe we’re far out related or maybe we are just old…ahem, mature. 😉 By the way, in my book ice cream is good – whipped cream not so much.
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Whipped cream just seems to get in the way of the good food below it. I want the hot chocolate, not the stuff floating on top.
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We share the same thoughts on whipped cream, I guess.
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I’ve never understood why people like it.
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Well, I think you’d hate a ponytail. And when a certain first-person writer gets side-tracked, the rest of us are invited on a winsome journey
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Well, it’s likely that my hair will fall out before it grows long enough to tie up.
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Seeing the way Andy thinks, I’m so afraid to think but my thoughts keep going back to all who read the blog and are thinking the way I’m thinking…
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Thinking can be dangerous. Think careful before you think.
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I don’t like Ice-Cream either. They need more Sherbet flavors!
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and sorbets, I like a good lemon sorbet.
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Please, let’s not go to Mars and ruin another planet now that we’ve ransacked our own!
I can never get it out of my head just how perfect and Garden of Eden-like the North America encountered by Lewis and Clark must have been. I wonder if there’s anything like that left anywhere now, after two centuries of our not bothering about the world.
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I’m not going to Mars, so it’s safe from me. Sadly, most of what Lewis and Clark saw is gone. There are a few places – national parks and such – that still have some of the wonders preserved.
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🤔
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Ooo, deep thoughts. Once a skit on SNL. Maybe you should revive it.
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I just might – I have a lot of deep thoughts …
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