I’ve taken two quilting classes this week at the local quilt show. I’ll have pictures of my projects then. Today we go back to see the vendor hall to buy fabric and things we don’t need. But before I head out, here is everything I know about education:
I wasn’t so good at math. My math teacher called me average. I think that’s mean.
Math problem: You have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 bottles in the other. What do you have? Answer: A drinking problem.
I heard they’re starting a new class at the high school called, “eye contact.”
Why is there a yardstick in the history classroom? So they can learn about rulers.
How does a tutor get to the school? On a mentor-ship.
My teacher said to follow my dreams, but won’t let me sleep in class …
Did you hear they have a vampire for a teacher at the high school? He gives lots of blood tests.
Q: What was the Great Depression? A: my report card last semester.
You don’t see giraffes in elementary school. They’re all in high school.
when you think about it, decimals have a point.
Five out of four students don’t understand statistics.
What nation do most teachers come from? Expla-nation.
Why was school easier for prehistory humans? There was no history to study …
What time is it when Godzilla comes to your school? Time to run.
And finally a few quotes:
“Don’t let college interfere with your education.” My father.
“Education: that which reveals to the wise, and conceals from the stupid, the vast limits of their knowledge.” Mark Twain.
80% of the final exam will be based on the one lecture you missed and the one book you didn’t read — Third Law of Applied Terror.
I am not young enough to know everything. James M. Barrie
Andrew's View of the Week 
I am stealing these for my first week back!
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Please do! 🙂
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The very first one is (and should be) at the top of the list 🙂
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It’s my favorite education saying.
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The first one was my favorite. And your dad’s quote. And the last quote. Thanks, Andrew. 🙂
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He had a lot of great quotes.
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I’ve noticed that over the years of following you. 🙂
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OOH! I envy you! What an exciting thing to be at a show like that. it is one thing I miss from my ‘city life’ when I lived in the Chicago area. I can’t wait for the photos! 🙂
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It was a fun show.
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Your first two jokes are absolutely superb, even managing to bring in a reference to some technical terms of Mathematics in one of them. The rest aren’t bad either!!
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I like jokes that those!
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Good ones, Andrew! I chuckled at all of them, but at the Mark Twain quote in particular. He definitely had a way with words! 🙂
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I love that quote. I should use it more.
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“Five out of four …” LOL. I flunked statistics in college.
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Statistics is mystifying … 😉
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Third Law of Applied Terror! So true! Reminds me of my college speech class. I missed one class. My final was to stand up and give the speech I had missed…and never prepared!
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Yes, a common college experience.
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Yikes, Mom! I never heard that story! I do remember the one where you flunked a class by writing your final paper about all the reasons your teacher was wrong. That was a shocker.
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now the truth starts to come out … 😉
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Haha. Sorry for outing you, Mom. 😛
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I look forward to seeing your projects.
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I’ll get picture soon.
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no, never letting them sleep in class, not a joke. it’s too close to home. lol
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you’re one of those … 😉
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yep, and I own it , lol
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A lot of good ones. Look forward to hearing about your Quilting adventure.
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It was an adventure!
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Your wise father.
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He was.
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