Friday Wisdom – Housekeeping

Posted on 06/23/2023 by Andrew Reynolds

Tomorrow we’re having a church group over for dinner so it that means time to scrub the house down. Here’s everything I know about house cleaning:

What did the broom say to the mop? “I’m tired of people pushing us around.”

I went to buy a new vacuum cleaner. The salesman said that this new model will cut my work in half. I said, “Great, I’ll take two.”

I started to feel like it was time to clean the house, but it’s okay, I had a little nap and the feeling passed.

Who do you hire to clean the ocean? A mer-maid.

I got a new job as a street cleaner. There’s no training needed – you just pick it up as you go.

There was one dinosaur that never procrastinated doing its house cleaning. Yup, the Prontosaurus.

My wife and I were arguing about whose turn it was to do the laundry. In the end, I thew in the towels.

My wife said she a $20 bill in my pants after she washed them. I’m worried she’ll get arrested for laundering money.

I’m thinking of selling my vacuum cleaner — it’s just collecting dust.

You never know what you have, until you start cleaning.

A clean house is a sure sign of no internet connection.

Behind every great marriage is an efficient house cleaning service.

You can’t get one thing clean without getting something else dirty.

I’ve been thinking of cleaning the mirrors in the bathroom — yes, it’s a job I can see myself doing.

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About Andrew Reynolds

Born in California Did the school thing studying electronics, computers, release engineering and literary criticism. I worked in the high tech world doing software release engineering and am now retired. Then I got prostate cancer. Now I am a blogger and work in my wood shop doing scroll saw work and marquetry.
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29 Responses to Friday Wisdom – Housekeeping

  1. Ilsa Rey's avatar ParentingIsFunny says:
    06/25/2023 at 1:50 pm

    A clean house is a sure sign of no internet connection. –I laugh, but that’s so true!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. jfwknifton's avatar jfwknifton says:
    06/25/2023 at 12:15 am

    Another amusing selection! My own personal favurite must be…….

    “A clean house is a sure sign of no internet connection.”

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Mama's Empty Nest's avatar Mama's Empty Nest says:
    06/24/2023 at 8:01 am

    Were you spying on my house because I definitely did this one: “I started to feel like it was time to clean the house, but it’s okay, I had a little nap and the feeling passed.”!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. PiedType's avatar SusanR says:
    06/23/2023 at 9:39 pm

    “I’ll take two,” please!! And the sooner the better!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Diane Henders's avatar Diane Henders says:
    06/23/2023 at 8:05 pm

    “Prontosaurus” – bahahaha!!! Good clean jokes, Andrew. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Jacqui Murray's avatar Jacqui Murray says:
    06/23/2023 at 6:01 pm

    Where do I get the vacuum? That cuts my work in 2?

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Sheila Landry Designs's avatar Sheila Landry Designs says:
    06/23/2023 at 2:52 pm

    I enjoyed your post. 🙂 Have a great dinner and weekend.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Dave's avatar Dave says:
    06/23/2023 at 11:42 am

    “… and the feeling passed.” HA! That’s ‘s my favorite (though several others were also LOL). Solid list!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. aginggracefullymyass's avatar aginggracefullymyass says:
    06/23/2023 at 10:30 am

    Ha ha ha ha!! I needed a good laugh today!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. joynealkidney's avatar joynealkidney says:
    06/23/2023 at 9:26 am

    Prontosaurus!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. brilliantviewpoint's avatar brilliantviewpoint says:
    06/23/2023 at 9:22 am

    When you said church group coming, “TIME TO…” I thought you were going to say, “TIME TO FINISH the Table Runner.” LOL

    Liked by 3 people

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