Friday Wisdom – Lakes

We took a drive over to see Lake Tahoe today so here’s everything I know about lakes:

There’s a lake near me that is just filled with ducks. I thought about buying a house there, but then I thought that there would be just too many bills.

I never tell jokes near frozen lakes – they might crack up.

Elephants love to swim in lakes. That’s why they always have their trunks with them.

Have you heard of the ballet, “Frog Lake?” It’s like Swan Lake, only there’s a lot more jumping.

I saw a lady drop her cell phone into the lake. She said it was syncing.

In what state is the Great Salt Lake? Yup, liquid, it never freezes.

“Hello, I’m Jane and I’m an alcoholic.” “Ma’am, this is triple A, not AA” “I know, I’m just trying to explain why my car is in the lake.”

I couldn’t get my Bluetooth speaker to work, so I threw it in the lake. Now it’s syncing …

Devil: This is the lava lake you’ll be spending eternity in. Bob: Actually this is underground, so it would be magma. Devil: You do understand why you’re here?

I know a guy who bought some water skis, but took them back to the store – he couldn’t find a lake with a hill in it.

Is eating vegetables from a lake monster’s garden healthy? Not Nessie’s celery.

I was telling my friend some fun facts about the Nile. He asked, “Source?” I replied, “Lake Victoria.”

Where do ghosts like to go to water ski? Lake Erie.

There’s a law in Lake Tahoe that you can’t have to docks because that would be a paradox.

Be careful swimming in Philosophy Lake — It’s deep.

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About Andrew Reynolds

Born in California Did the school thing studying electronics, computers, release engineering and literary criticism. I worked in the high tech world doing software release engineering and am now retired. Then I got prostate cancer. Now I am a blogger and work in my wood shop doing scroll saw work and marquetry.
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25 Responses to Friday Wisdom – Lakes

  1. Dave's avatar Dave says:

    “…Not Nessie’s Celery” – fantastic pun. Lake Tahoe’s pretty fantastic too.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. So considerate of you to worry about the lakes cracking up, Andrew. You should stay away from frozen lakes in general, I think. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. As usual, i chuckled at ALL of them!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. “Nessie’s celery” – hahaha!!! Good ones, Andrew. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Every one a winner! But I really like the “not Nessie’s celery”!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. jfwknifton's avatar jfwknifton says:

    And for me, unusualy, the very best one is the first one, all about the ducks.
    I’ve seen Lake Tahoe on the burning map in “Bonanza” but is it huge like the Great Lakes or is in more on the lines of Crater Lake?

    Liked by 1 person

    • As for size, Tahoe is the 31 first largest lake in the US. It’s 20 times larger than Crater lake, but less than 1/40th the size of the smallest Great Lake, Lake Ontario. It’s 22 miles long and 12 miles wide.

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  7. PiedType's avatar SusanR says:

    Not Nessie’s celery. Wow, somebody was working overtime for that one.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Well don’t you know a lot about lakes!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Raymond's avatar Raymond says:

    The magma one made me laugh out loud enough to be heard in the next room. I am so doomed…

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Very cute. 🙂 Have a happy weekend.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Oh, so many good ones! Frog Lake! Not Nessie’s celery! Oh, groan!

    Liked by 1 person

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