Well, it’s almost time for that great American holiday, Thanksgiving. If you want to over analyze it, it’s basically a pagan harvest festival co-opted by Christian Americans to have an excuse for recreational overeating. Yeah, yeah, it’s supposed to be about giving thanks and all that, but come on, it’s about eating foods that you don’t eat any other time of the year in larger quantities than medically advised and getting annoyed with those aunts and uncles you only see once a year. Here’s what I really know about the holiday:
On my way back home from last year’s Thanksgiving dinner I was pulled over by a police officer. I got a ticket for exceeding the feed limit …
Did you hear of the turkey who joined a rock and roll band? Yes, he had his own drum sticks.
My wife asked me to make cornbread. I told her that I thought that was a crummy job.
In my town we’re all about safety. We only let little pumpkin pies cross the street where there’s a crossing gourd.
I tell people to never tell secrets in the kitchen on Thanksgiving day … the corn has ears …
I just witnessed a turkey in a fight with and eagle … the turkey got the stuffing knocked out of him.
I’m writing a country song about thanksgiving, here’s one line I’m working on, “you turned my cranberries into blueberries the day you walked out on me …”
When my father was dating my mother he noticed my mother’s family love of pies. All pies, peach, apple, cherry — if it was in a pie crust they eat ate it. Pies were always in the house. Pies, plural, never just one. My father carefully observed the rules for cutting and eating pie at mother’s home. Here are those rules as father told it:
If there are two people, one pie is cut into four pieces and each person gets two pieces.
If there are three people, one pie is cut into three pieces and each person gets one piece.
If there are four people, the pie is cut into four pieces and each person gets one piece.
If there are five people, you need two pies …
Andrew's View of the Week 
I concur with the pie rules, and they should include “If there are two kinds of pie and you want to have both, the pieces will be cut no smaller than if you wanted just one kind of pie. If there are three kinds of pie and you want all three…” and so on.
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I agree, I’ll make those additions to the rules.
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Enjoy your Thanksgiving, Andrew. Now, how many pies will you need??
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Well, we’re having 10 for dinner so I’m thinking four or five … 😉
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Have a happy Thanksgiving! 🙂
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Happy Thanksgiving!
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Yes to what Jacqui said about blueberries, but I was going to say, the very end about needing two pies was my flavorite. 😉
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I’m working on a whole country album … 🙂
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Love it. 🙂
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Those rules for eating pies seem completely reasonable to me!
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I think so too!
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Thank you for the smile 😊
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🙂
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Haha! I agree with the 5 people = 2 (or more) pies. I once made 3 pies for a dinner for 8. Y’know… just in case. Happy Thanksgiving!
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You can never have too many pies …
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Enjoyed your mother’s rules for cutting a pie.
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My father loved telling that story.
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Yep, you nailed it.
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🙂
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““you turned my cranberries into blueberries the day you walked out on me …””–that’s pretty good, Andrew.
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🙂
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