Friday Wednesday — After the Turkey

As we come out of our food induced coma, we ask two things — did I really eat all that food and does Andrew really make up all those jokes he posts? The answers are Yes, and no. I figure I won’t need to eat again until next Tuesday and today’s one-liners were sent to me by a friend. This proves, that I don’t make this stuff up and there are other minds like mine out there. That might worry some of you …

Which side of a turkey has more feathers? The outside.
Why did the banquet turkey come with a microphone? He was ready for a roast.
Turkey pickup line: Is that your pop-up timer or are you just happy to see me?
What do you get when you cross a turkey with a centipede? Drumsticks for everyone!
Why did the turkey stand on stilts? Because nobody eat flamingoes for Thanksgiving dinner.
I went out to the ranch to get some wild turkey for dinner, but they carded me.
What did the turkey say when they bumped into the president? Pardon me.
Turkeys always travel in luxury. Yeah, they ride the gravy train.
What do you call a turkey the day after Thanksgiving? Lucky!
My real estate agent is great to work with this time of year. They specialize in turn-key sales.
What’s a turkey’s favorite month? Any month that’s not November!
What sound does a turkey’s phone make? Wing-wing.
What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter on Thanksgiving Day? Quack, Quack!
Why did the farmer have to separate the chicken and the turkey? They sensed fowl play.
What key has wings and can’t open a door? A tur-key.
We let the turkey join our band in high school because he had his own drumsticks.
I actually lost weight at Thanksgiving. I got in a fight with my family and got the stuffing knocked out of me.
Turkeys have a different view of the tradition of pulling on the wishbone.

About Andrew Reynolds

Born in California Did the school thing studying electronics, computers, release engineering and literary criticism. I worked in the high tech world doing software release engineering and am now retired. Then I got prostate cancer. Now I am a blogger and work in my wood shop doing scroll saw work and marquetry.

View all posts by Andrew Reynolds →