I had to take my car in for it’s major service. This morning I get to take it back to replace a seat heater switch. It’s not that I want the seat heater on. No I want it off and from time to time my seat was hot when I wanted cold. Turns out it’s a sticking switch that isn’t normally in stock. Well, they called yesterday and they have the part so I’m off to the service center to get that replaced. As you might expect, I know a lot about car repairs:
The mechanic said, “Sorry sir, we weren’t able to fix. your brakes, so we just made the horn louder.”
They service manager said that he thought my car should see a therapist — it just has too many issues.
I told the car sales department that I wanted an ulta fuel efficient car. They took me to the bike shop next door.
Did you hear about the mechanics who just started a new band? They’re calling themselves, “The Cylinders.”
Be cautious of a auto mechanic who rides a bike to work …
I was going to write a joke about cars, but it wasn’t wheel-y funny.
My car just stopped working one day and I called my mechanic, she said, “You’re car is just exhausted.”
I went to the library and asked if they had a book on how to fix an automatic transmission, but the librarian said they only had manuals.
I told my mechanic that my car was humming. He said that’s because it doesn’t know the words.
A jumper cable walks into a bar and the bartender says, “You can have anything you want, just don’t start anything.”
Did you hear about the truck driver who drove his truck off a cliff? Turns out he wanted to try out his air brakes.
I took my car in for service because it was making a terrible noise. The service tech, removed the John Travolta Sings Christmas CD and things sound much better now.
I have a quantum mechanic. He both fixes and doesn’t fix my car at the same time, and I’m never certain what his charge will be.
Andrew's View of the Week 
Not bad, not bad at all.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Pingback: Friday Wisdom – Car Repair – illusion car care..
“the librarian said they only had manuals.” Haha! Nice.
We’ve had to get our vehicles repaired four times in the last two months. It’s truly exhausting. (Wasn’t intending the pun, but might as well roll with it. Ah! Another one!)
LikeLiked by 1 person
You have a punny talent there … 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Trying to learn from the best, Andrew!
LikeLiked by 1 person
seems like the lesions are going well … 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Why thank you, sir. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think I preferred the one about the “book on how to fix an automatic transmission,” but there were a good few others just as good.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ve always liked that one.
LikeLike
Needed the laugh today, Andrew! Thanks and Happy New Year!
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂
LikeLike
Hahaha! These are good ones, Andrew! Thanks for the chuckles – it’s one of the few times that auto repairs are likely to make anyone smile.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yup, no one laughs when seeing the final bill. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
LOL – some great ones in there.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I do me best. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Florida – no need for seat warmers, but my last car had them – go figure.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I bought the car in California and there’s little need for them there, but most newer cars seem to come with them.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I love heated seats. Only one of our older cars has them. It is a summer car, but a convertible so in the cooler evenings it is wonderful to have a warm back and butt. LOL! Happy New Year to you!
LikeLiked by 2 people
We only need heated seats a few times a year here, but on all the time wasn’t nice. Happy New Year!
LikeLike
Okay some drew slight groans but the last one is genius!!! Do you make these all up, Andrew?
LikeLiked by 2 people
Yes, that last one!
LikeLiked by 1 person
My favorite too!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I steal a lot of these and some are prototypical style jokes, like, “A {blank} walked into a bar, and the bartender say {something}”. It’s really the same joke rewritten for many subjects.
LikeLike