Friday Wisdom — Coffee

Posted on 04/05/2024 by Andrew Reynolds

I had a fancy latte the other day where Heather and I discussed the finer points of coffee. Here’s everything I know about it:

I learned that there is a sad coffee – it’s called depresso.

I was sitting in my car outside Starbucks drinking a latte in my slippers when I thought, “They should have given me a cup.”

I went to the urgent care doctor and told her that I get a stabbing pain in my face every time I take a sip of coffee. She said to take the spoon out of my mug.

What kind of money do they use on the space station? Star-bucks.

The kid next door is like coffee – always getting grounded.

I have no problem with caffeine. I have a lot of problems without caffeine.

I was in Starbucks when someone stole my cappuccino. The Barista called the police and reported a mugging.

Never give a snake coffee – it makes them viperactive.

Paul McCartney is rumored to be working on a new song for a Starbucks commercial – Latte it Be!

I knew a guy who got fired from Starbucks for not changing the coffee filters. Turns out that’s grounds for dismissal.

A guy I knew took a first date to Starbucks. Turns out he’d forgotten her name …

I was reading about this lady who sued Starbucks. The judge threw out the lawsuit because she had no grounds.

I bought a coffee in Starbucks today. No idea what that is in Earth money.

I tried a new drink a Starbucks today, but it tasted familiar. It was a case of Deja Brew.

Years ago I was manager of an IT team and I put a sign on the coffee pot saying, “Break fluid.”

Tolkien’s first draft: Not all who wander are lost. / They’re just looking for coffee …

Coffee raises my heart rate, so I count a large mug of coffee as my aerobic exercise for the day.

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About Andrew Reynolds

Born in California Did the school thing studying electronics, computers, release engineering and literary criticism. I worked in the high tech world doing software release engineering and am now retired. Then I got prostate cancer. Now I am a blogger and work in my wood shop doing scroll saw work and marquetry.
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25 Responses to Friday Wisdom — Coffee

  1. Roksana Amelia's avatar Roksana Amelia says:
    04/14/2024 at 8:45 am

    Love coffee ☕️

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Domnic Pereira's avatar Domnic Pereira says:
    04/10/2024 at 11:52 pm

    Good article I liked reading ur story

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Ian "Mak" Makay's avatar Ian "Mak" Makay says:
    04/07/2024 at 7:22 am

    A latte laughs here! 😂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. VentureTwist's avatar Asif Baloch says:
    04/06/2024 at 5:24 pm

    Huge respect for your every effort, you did a great work here. 

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Ilsa Rey's avatar ParentingIsFunny says:
    04/06/2024 at 5:14 pm

    I suspect a lot of people can relate to this, including me: “I have a lot of problems without caffeine.”

    The last two were my favorites, though. Very unique. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Diane Henders's avatar Diane Henders says:
    04/06/2024 at 1:44 pm

    “They should have given me a cup.” – LOL! Thanks for the high-test humour, Andrew. :-)

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Dave's avatar Dave says:
    04/06/2024 at 7:19 am

    I had to think about the “first date to Starbucks”. That’s a good one 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  9. PiedType's avatar Pied Type says:
    04/05/2024 at 7:15 pm

    Excellent! I really needed some humor this week.

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Mama's Empty Nest's avatar Mama's Empty Nest says:
    04/05/2024 at 3:36 pm

    Even though I can’t stand to drink coffee, I still enjoyed these.

    Liked by 2 people

  11. brilliantviewpoint's avatar brilliantviewpoint says:
    04/05/2024 at 2:40 pm

    LOL – I loved the first one, depresso.

    Liked by 2 people

  12. Jacqui Murray's avatar Jacqui Murray says:
    04/05/2024 at 9:31 am

    Depresso–winner!

    Liked by 3 people

  13. Sheila Landry Designs's avatar Sheila Landry Designs says:
    04/05/2024 at 9:10 am

    My partner is trying some decaf for a while. We haven’t founda good one yet. I can truly relate to your “Depresso” line. :) 

    Liked by 2 people

  14. joynealkidney's avatar joynealkidney says:
    04/05/2024 at 8:43 am

    Depresso is also called decaf. . .

    Liked by 2 people

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