Propane

Today I’m going to do something very different on this blog.  I’m going to write the post first, then I’ll create a title for it.  I know, radical thinking and breaks all the rules of careful writing that I don’t follow.

I almost always write a title first and then write something that matches the title.  Me and titles don’t always get along.  Do you remember those reading tests in grade school where after reading a passage you were asked to select the best title? I always got those wrong and could never figure out why the correct answer was correct.  It’s a childhood trauma that still haunts me.

Likely that’s why I always pick short titles for my writing – poems, stories and blog posts.  If there’s a single word that is even remotely related to the piece I am writing, I’ll use it under the theory that if it’s vague enough, you’ll think I’m being artistic or poetic and will cut me a break if the title and writing don’t quite match up.

To all my grade school teachers: A story with a red dog in it can be titled “The Red Dog” and doesn’t have to be “Billy and His New Friend.” !!!

I was thinking that today I might write about the covid-19 thing.  Maybe you’ve heard of it.  There are a ton of titles that could be explored, Social Distancing for Extroverts, Spam is a Basic Food Group, Toilet Paper, or Propane.

Yes propane.  I think the news media missed out on the masses of people hoarding propane and lining up for hours to get their BBQ tanks filled.  Everybody has gotten distracted by the extreme toilet paper buyers to notice, but I have it from a first hand source that there is a run on propane.

My grandson works at a convenience store and one of his jobs is to fill propane tanks.  The first week of the shelter in place order he said that he spent most of his 12 hour shift filling propane tanks.  I can believe it – first thing I think of when getting quarantined for a virus is, “Do I have enough propane to BBQ that tri tip I have in the freezer?”

We all know that BBQ is so important in recovery from any cold, flu, or viral infection and with so many people being affected there is surely going to be a massive shortage of the fuel.

I checked the CDC website and stocking up on propane is not mentioned anywhere, so clearly there is a government coverup going on here, but don’t worry – I’ll expose the issue.

I figure I can use my power of creating a bad title to hide the fact that I am exposing their carefully crafted lies. We have to have the news hit as many news outlets as possible before the FBI catches on to what I’m doing and the real secrets I know.

“The Red Dog” might be a good title for a blog that exposes this coverup. Who would think to look there for info on propane-gate.

But, there is the old question: Where do you hide a tree?

Right, in the forest, therefore I’ll just title this post, Propane.

About Andrew Reynolds

Born in California Did the school thing studying electronics, computers, release engineering and literary criticism. I worked in the high tech world doing software release engineering. Then I got prostate cancer. Now I am a blogger and work in my wood shop doing scroll saw work and marquetry.
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26 Responses to Propane

  1. There’s always something. And titles are tough! I don’t recall experiencing that title-choosing torture in grade school, but if I did, I’m sure I got them all wrong, too. “Propane” works for me… 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Propane, huh? Well I missed the panic on that one too. Of course, I missed a lot of the panic when we were in AZ and off the grid (very little news and no internet). I think I’m really happy about that fact. Thanks for exposing this cover-up! 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Christi says:

    I always thought you were poetic and now you tell me you’re just title-challenged? Geez. Way to crush a girl’s heart.
    Hadn’t heard of the propane rush, though I know of some rural folk who have propane heatersin their homes. Doubt that accounts for the rush, of course.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Are you joking in your first couple paragraphs? I can’t tell. I always write the title after I write the piece. I thought everyone did that. When I was in college, I would write my paper, then the title, then the stupid outline that the professors always insisted upon.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Here’s a fun thing to know about propane. Near where I grew up there was an intersection called “Six Corners” (where — guess what, three streets intersected). That’s not what people have come to expect. Whether that played a part or not, I don’t know, but a propane truck blew up in the middle of that intersection and everyone in every truck and car and everyone in every business on every one of those six corners was flattened. Scores of people killed. It’s useful, but — be careful folks. It’s also heavier than air and if there’s a leak it may seep along the ground and you don’t even notice it…till it’s way too late and in that last split second of consciousness, you think, “Oh, NO! PROPANE!”

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Margy says:

    I just saw that Costco (don’t know whether it is for all stores) has posted notices that they will not take returns on some of the items that people have been stocking up on. That fits with the observation I saw that suggested people would be returning things when their rent came due…
    Don’t think propane will be returnable, do you?

    Liked by 1 person

  7. lorieb says:

    very clever!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Donna Chang says:

    Well done 👍🏼

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Didn’t know about propane. My bbq doesn’t use it. This is why blogging is so popular. You find out the stuff the news doesn’t feel is fit to publish (why? hmm?0

    Titles–I always teach kids from third grade on to write the story first and then title it so you are spot on!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. That is interesting. Maybe people are worried the power might go off???? Reading to many Stephen King books possibly although I did hear he is writing 2020.

    Liked by 1 person

    • It’s all a bit irrational – just like the long line outside the local gun shop the other day. Some people afraid they need more guns and bullets …

      Like

  11. Relax... says:

    Great — propane hoarding? So safe. :-p Our grill is acting up anyway. Hang in there. You and yours be safe. The numbers have got to level off sooner or later. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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