Friday Wisdom – Jazz

Posted on 07/02/2021 by Andrew Reynolds

We went to see a jazz concert last night so a few jazzy funnies popped into my head:

How do you get a jazz musician off your porch? Pay for the pizza.

The difference between a rock guitarist and a jazz guitarist is that the rock guitarist plays 3 cords for 1,000 people while the jazz guitarist plays 1,000 cords for 3 people.

The difference between a jazz musician and a large pizza is that the pizza can feed a family of four.

How did the jazz singer end up with 1 million dollars? She inherited 2 million dollars.

My doctor says jazz is in my blood – she said I have a deep vein trombonses.

A lawyer wanted to join a jazz band, but they said he didn’t have any soul.

Smooth jazz puts me to sleep … must be the mellow tonin’.

Farmers are now playing smooth jazz for their corn — it’s easy on the ears.

Jazz is the most common music to get couples “in the mood” because it’s so saxxy.

A bus full of jazz players broke down on the freeway. Police are reporting a massive jam.

My parents didn’t let me listen to classical or jazz when I was a kid. They said it had too much sax and violins …

About Andrew Reynolds

Born in California Did the school thing studying electronics, computers, release engineering and literary criticism. I worked in the high tech world doing software release engineering and am now retired. Then I got prostate cancer. Now I am a blogger and work in my wood shop doing scroll saw work and marquetry.
This entry was posted in wisdom and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

13 Responses to Friday Wisdom – Jazz

  1. ParentingIsFunny says:
    07/04/2021 at 9:21 am

    Massive jam! Though the last one is a close second. I think I liked the image of these musicians having been in an accident, but spending the time waiting to be picked up playing their instruments. That’s a happy thought.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Jacqui Murray says:
    07/04/2021 at 7:40 am

    Perfect timing. I just watched the last season of Bosch on Amazon Prime.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Diane Henders says:
    07/03/2021 at 8:55 pm

    Ha! Those are great – still laughing!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. jfwknifton says:
    07/03/2021 at 12:06 am

    I’ve always liked jazz and I’ve just discovered the recording of various artists in the 1920s. That’s all from watching Ken Burns!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Debra says:
    07/02/2021 at 6:50 pm

    “Sax and violins” is my favorite. Very good list. It is nice to hear that you’re finding music venues and outlets accessible to you in a new home, and post-lockdown. Hope you can find a nice way to celebrate the 4th.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Bette A. Stevens says:
    07/02/2021 at 1:23 pm

    Love them! Have a safe and Happy Fourth, Andrew!

    Liked by 1 person

Comments are closed.