Friday Wisdom – Museums

Today was a visiting day. Stopped by the church to visit the quilting group we’re thinking of joining and after that we went to the Nevada Museum of Art to see the Latimer Art School exhibit. So naturally – all the museums jokes I think you can tolerate are listed here:

You’re Baroque when your out of Monet.

Why didn’t Van Gogh play the violin? He didn’t have an ear for music.

What does Salvador Dali have for breakfast? A bowl of “Surreal.”

When I tried to leave the museum, the guards stopped me – they thought I was an exhibit.

I tried to get into the knife museum, but people kept cutting in line.

The Natural History museum wanted to attract new visitors so they started giving away dinosaur vertebrae – everyone was taken aback.

I once had an after hours job at a museum moving suits of armor around. I quit because I hated the knight shift.

The artist wasn’t able to drive his paintings to the new museum exhibit. Sadly he had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh.

The police just arrested a theft at the art museum. The theft claims he’s being framed.

I went to the Thomas Edison Museum and found it enlightening.

I just heard that the stolen paintings were found by two trash cans. Very smart trash cans.

What shoe do most artist buy? Sketchers.

Did you hear about the nurse who became an artist? She was good at drawing blood.

About Andrew Reynolds

Born in California Did the school thing studying electronics, computers, release engineering and literary criticism. I worked in the high tech world doing software release engineering and am now retired. Then I got prostate cancer. Now I am a blogger and work in my wood shop doing scroll saw work and marquetry.
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21 Responses to Friday Wisdom – Museums

  1. Love this: Sadly he had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh.

    Don’t get the trash can one??

    Liked by 1 person

  2. “The knight shift” – ha! The museum tours sound like fun; with the added bonus of being out of the smoke.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. They may be groaners, but they still make me smile and often laugh out loud. And who doesn’t need a good smile or laugh right now???

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Baydreamer says:

    Oh, that last one brought a groan. 🙂 Have a good weekend, Andrew!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. jfwknifton says:

    Thank you for those! Interestingly, many of them don’t work in England because we don’t pronounce artists’ names the same as in the USA. We have Van Goff, Day-ga and Mon-ay. Only the last one is even vaguely right!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Love both the jokes and the promise of quilts!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Who comes up with these???

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Good ones! Have a great weekend, Andrew.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. davidprosser says:

    Some old groaners there Andrew.
    Hugs

    Liked by 2 people

  10. All are very clever, Andrew. I liked them all. I didn’t know you liked to quilt. I have made some applique quilts on a machine but hand-quilted the fronts to the backs. I would love to see pictures of your work in a future post. Have a great weekend.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yup, quilting is a winter hobby – when it’s too cold out to garden. There will be posts on that soon. I have this theory that many quilting patters can be recreated as marquetry or inlay pieces.

      Liked by 1 person

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