Well, it’s New Year’s eve so …
May all your troubles last as long as your resolutions.
Still waiting for my wife to tell me what my New Year’s resolutions are.
I’ve resolved to read more, so I turned on subtitles on the TV.
Why do birds fly south on New Year’s day? because it’s to far to walk …
I was going to stop all my bad habits, but then nobody likes a quitter.
I went to the jeweler on December 31 – to ring in the New Year.
I resolve to procrastinate more. I’m starting tomorrow.
Last year I resolved to lose 15 pounds. I only have 25 more to go.
I’m staying up till midnight this year. Not to see 2022 in, but to make sure 2021 leaves …
If you were born in September, you basically know what your parents did on New Year’s Eve.
Alcohol can preserve many things on New Year’s Eve. Dignity is not on the list.
I’m going to open a business called, “Resolutions.” During January it will be filled with exercise equipment. The rest of the year it will be a donut shop.