Friday Wisdom – Taxes

The last couple of weeks have been preparing taxes here at the shop so here we go with everything I know about taxes:

A fine is a tax for doing something wrong and a tax is a fine for doing something right.

Children may be deductible, but they’re still taxing.

Nothing drives one to being modest about their income like having to fill out an tax form.

Tax is like a laundry list – whatever happens you’re likely to lose your shirt.

There is no greater creative writing genre than a persons itemized deduction list.

When it comes to golf and fishing there are a lot of liars, but far more liars are made by filling out tax forms.

Are you sure I can’t list the government as a dependent?

Of life’s two certainties, taxes is the only one you can get an extension on.

“You must pay taxes, but there’s no law that says you gotta leave a tip.” — financial services firm Morgan Stanley.

“Dear IRS, I am writing you to cancel my subscription. Please remove my name from your mailing list.” — Snoopy (from top of his dog house).

“The best measure of a person’s honesty isn’t their income tax return. It’s the zero adjust on their bathroom scale.” — Arthur C. Clarke

“Today, it takes more brains and effort to make out the income-tax from than it does to make the income.” — Alfred E. Neuman (What me worry?)

About Andrew Reynolds

Born in California Did the school thing studying electronics, computers, release engineering and literary criticism. I worked in the high tech world doing software release engineering and am now retired. Then I got prostate cancer. Now I am a blogger and work in my wood shop doing scroll saw work and marquetry.
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19 Responses to Friday Wisdom – Taxes

  1. Dave says:

    If the Fed would just stop changing the rules maybe we’d get the hang of this annual routine and it wouldn’t take hours and hours, sigh…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I thought the one about children was going to be my favorite, but this one is the best: Are you sure I can’t list the government as a dependent? Lol!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. jfwknifton says:

    You’re right…no extensions to life!!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Ah, taxes. It is that time of year again, isn’t it? Your jokes are the only thing that’s funny about taxes.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Baydreamer says:

    I like Snoopy’s way of thinking. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Having just finished up our taxes, both hubby and I enjoyed your Friday Wisdom. But taxes really aren’t a joke, are they?? πŸ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Happy weekend. πŸ™‚ I will also be finishing up my taxes this weekend. Not a favorite thing of mine, but not too bad. I am in a creative job but one thing you can’t really get creative on is taxes. πŸ˜€ Ah well. Once it is behind us, we don’t have to worry about it for another year. Have a good one.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I just gotta share this with our CPA son!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. This is your best yet, Andrew. I am dying laughing.

    Liked by 2 people

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