Friday Wisdom – Failure

Last week I discussed success, so this week let’s consider its opposite, failure:

If you try to fail, but succeed, what have you done?

Failure is not an option – it comes bundled with the software.

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

Note to self: When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.

Always keep the dream alive: Press the snooze button.

The person who invented autocorrect just died – Restaurant in Peace.

I started out with nothing and have most of it left.

Money talks: Mine mostly says goodbye.

The medium rare chicken recipe was a failure. Yeah, it was a half baked idea.

It’s not a good idea to tell people about your failures while on an elevator. They’ll be disappointed on so many different levels.

Genghis Khan had a brother who failed at everything. His name was Genghis Khan’t.

The professional Hide and Seek tournament was a total failure – Good plays are impossible to find.

My doctor told me:

Drinking vodka over ice can give you kidney failure.
Drinking rum over ice can give you liver failure.
Drinking whiskey over ice can give you heart failure.
Drinking gin over ice can give you brain problems.

Apparently, ice is really bad for you.

I tried to start a dairy farm. It was an udder failure.

When you try to prove that a machine won’t work, it will – Willoughby’s Law

The new computer will fail as soon as the old one is disconnected. Goodin’s Law of Conversions

Murphy’s Law only fails when you try to demonstrate it. Another Axiom to Murphy’s Law

The most difficult light bulb to replace burns out first and most often. Occam’s Electric Razor

Quotes on Failure:

Success always occurs in private, and failure in public. Proverbs

I have not failed … I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work. Thomas Alva Edison.

I led the league in “Go get ’em next time” Bod Uecker

Whom the gods wish to destroy they first call promising. Cyril Connolly

About Andrew Reynolds

Born in California Did the school thing studying electronics, computers, release engineering and literary criticism. I worked in the high tech world doing software release engineering and am now retired. Then I got prostate cancer. Now I am a blogger and work in my wood shop doing scroll saw work and marquetry.
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23 Responses to Friday Wisdom – Failure

  1. Lakshmi Bhat says:

    I smiled πŸ˜ƒ. The autocorrect one is good. Thank you for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. bg says:

    drink neat , thats how i always drink my water when i don’t drink it dry πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Restaurant in Peace. OMG, that’s terrific.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. “Genghis Khan’t” – ha! Good ones, all. Thanks for the chuckles! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Dave says:

    The “autocorrect” or the “elevator on so many levels” – I’ll take either one. LOL good.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. kathy70 says:

    I liked the quotes this week. Bob Uecker has always been a favorite of mine from the Carson days. You make the hard job of being funny look easy.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. jfwknifton says:

    Very funny, as always, but there are some very profound truths out there, such as “Whom the gods wish to destroy they first call promising.” How many young soccer or football players does that apply to?

    Liked by 1 person

  8. SusanR says:

    “I used to have a handle on life, but it broke” is a handpainted plaque on my wall. I’ve had it for about 20 years. I keep it hanging at a crazy angle, intentionally.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Easiest to simply not fail.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I like the ‘bundled in software’ one the best, I think. I can best relate to that, as I am sure many others can, too. Happy Friday to you!

    Liked by 1 person

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