Friday Wisdom – Swimming

Yesterday we went to Lake Tahoe for a picnic, little kayaking and swimming so here we go:

I was asked for a donation to help build a community swimming pool. I gave them a gallon of water.

I took a book to read on the beach titled, “The Swimming Pool.” It started out shallow but was very deep by the end.

I was thinking about this – if I was on a desert island the one record I’d like to have is in long distance swimming.

Think about this: Hippos can run and swim faster than humans. That means cycling is your only chance to beat a hippo in a triathlon.

At the beach I saw a teacher jumping in the water – she said she was testing it.

I was watching this guy swim and he was so slow that all he could do was a crawl.

Dentists and swimming coaches have a lot in common. To start with they both use drills …

Name a race that is never run … yup a swimming race.

Elephants love to swim so they also have their trunks with them.

Ghosts like to swim. Their favorite spot is Lake Eerie.

and where to zombies go swimming? Yup, the Dead Sea.

What did the lifeguard say to the impatient swimmer? “Just wade a minute.”

When we left the lake it didn’t say goodbye – it just waved.

I wanted to use the ATM so I could buy ice cream at the snack shack. They told me the closest one was at the river bank.

So far the summer is going swimmingly.

A Few Good Quotes:

I sink, therefore I swam. Anonymous

Swimming is a confusing sport, because sometimes you do it for fun, and other times you do it to not die. Demetri Martin – comedian

There is water in every lane, so it is OK. Ian Thorpe – Australian swimmer

I used to be addicted to swimming but I’m very proud to say I’ve been dry for six years. Alfie Moore – writer, comedian

Swimming isn’t a sport; it’s just a way to keep from drowning. George Carlin – comedian

About Andrew Reynolds

Born in California Did the school thing studying electronics, computers, release engineering and literary criticism. I worked in the high tech world doing software release engineering and am now retired. Then I got prostate cancer. Now I am a blogger and work in my wood shop doing scroll saw work and marquetry.
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22 Responses to Friday Wisdom – Swimming

  1. Vinny says:

    Ha ha! Very witty!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Baydreamer says:

    Donating a gallon of water and the elephants having their trunks cracked me up. They’re all great, though. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  3. The quotes are funny but donating a gallon of water and โ€œJust wade a minute.โ€ are the best!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Ray V. says:

    Whatโ€™s a story about swimming without The Swimming Singโ€. https://youtu.be/n543W-RdzQA

    Liked by 1 person

  5. “Cycling is your only chance to beat a hippo in a triathlon” – that one made my day! Thanks for the giggles!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. jfwknifton says:

    I’ll remember the one about the hippo. An excellent tactical tip.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. SusanR says:

    It’s getting late. And now I’m afraid I’m going to dream about being chased by a hippo!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I like the zombie one. ๐Ÿ™‚ Happy Friday, Andrew.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. That first is funny, but on a serious side, isn’t it nice to contribute something other than $$$$$

    Liked by 1 person

  10. HA! Here’s one for ya: What kind of people don’t like swimming jokes? Those with a dry sense of humor. None of us readers obviously. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Liked by 3 people

  11. Oh, the triathlon groaner!

    Liked by 1 person

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