Friday Wisdom – Hospitals

I’m not really here today as I had to drive to visit my brother in the hospital. Hopefully he’ll be going home soon. Until I get back here’s what I know about hospitals and doctors:

I have this great joke about amnesia, but I don’t remember it.

I’ve read that 8 out of 10 injections are in vein.

My brothers and I tried playing hide and seek in the hospital. Wasn’t that much fun, they kept finding us in the ICU.

I heard about a guy in medical school who made so many rash decisions that they made him a dermatologist.

My friend was going to the hospital today. He thinks he has, pneumonultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis, but it’s hard to say.

I went to the doctor once and said, “It hurts when I touch my face, my neck, my chest, my leg, …” The doctor replied, “Yes, you have a broken finger.”

I asked the doctor if he could give me something for my liver. He gave me half a pound of onions.

The radiologist was laughing at the X-ray of my arm. She found it humerus.

A mother took her young son to the the hospital after he swallowed some coins. They took him to get an X-ray and when he got back the mother asked he was doing. The nurse said, “No change yet.”

I was walking into the hospital and saw a sign saying, “Emergency Generator.” You’d think they’d have enough emergencies to start with.

A builder I know got a contract to renovate a hospital. He said he took the job because he thought it would be re-ward-ing …

Words you don’t want to hear a surgeon say, “Anyone seen my watch?”

In my therapy session I learned that I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.

The doctor told us not to be concerned about the bird flu anymore as it is now tweetable.

About Andrew Reynolds

Born in California Did the school thing studying electronics, computers, release engineering and literary criticism. I worked in the high tech world doing software release engineering and am now retired. Then I got prostate cancer. Now I am a blogger and work in my wood shop doing scroll saw work and marquetry.
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17 Responses to Friday Wisdom – Hospitals

  1. Franknbean says:

    The collection you provided here were all good chucklers, then came the cliff hanger type long pause. Foreboding thoughts lead me to concern for the master of “the view of the week”. May the Lord bless you and keep you Andrew….

    Liked by 1 person

  2. So many good ones. I can’t choose. Emergency Generator, maybe.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Andrew, I hope your brother recovers quickly.
    When I walk our dog in the park near our house, there’s the cutest older gentleman that always asks if I have a joke, then proceeds to tell me his. I’m going to save this post and when I see him coming, knocks the socks off him! Ha! Thanks always for your good humor!
    Deb

    Liked by 1 person

  4. “Broken finger” – hahaha!!! Hope your brother is on the mend and home soon.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. jfwknifton says:

    I love the one about liver and onions!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Hope your brother recovers well and soon. And if you tell him these jokes, he doesn’t suffer a setback from groaning too much. 😉 j/k

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Hi, Andrew. I hope your brother recovers soon. The sooner he gets home, the better. 🙂 Take care.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Baydreamer says:

    Hi Andrew, the amnesia and ICU jokes are my favorites, and I wish your brother a speedy and smooth recovery. Take care and thanks for the smiles.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Hope your brother feels better, goes home soon. Thanks for the jokes.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. G. J. Jolly says:

    Hope your brother is feeling better.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Flojo says:

    I love how something happens in your life–driving someone to the airport, the hospital–and it leads to humor. You will live a long life of laughter, my friend.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Cherryl says:

    Great post, love the jokes 😅, but jokes aside, I pray your brother is healthy and well🙏

    Liked by 1 person

  13. I hope your brother is doing well?

    Liked by 1 person

  14. SusanR says:

    Especially entertaining for me, a doctor’s kid.
    Wishing your brother a speedy recovery.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Terrific groaners, but will your brother put up with them? Prayers for your brother’s healing.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Raymond Lockley says:

    8 out of 10 injections are in vein, and the rest are a pain in the ass.

    Liked by 2 people

  17. HI Andrew, thanks for the jokes. I hope your brother is okay.

    Liked by 1 person

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