Friday Wisdom – Quilting

Posted on 06/09/2023 by Andrew Reynolds

Next week there is a quilt show in town and Heather and I are taking some classes there. This week we’ve been getting all our supplies and equipment ready to go so here’s everything I know about quilting:

I’m really hugging you to see if that fabric is wool or polyester.

I know a guy who writes songs about sewing machines – He’s a Singer-songwriter.

Sorry, but I don’t write many sewing jokes. I keep running out of material.

A little known fact: Christmas trees are bad at sewing. Yup, they keep dropping their needles.

If your block isn’t working right, turn it over — it might work left.

There’s something wrong with my sewing machine. Not sure what it is, but it just seams a little off.

Just hand over the seam ripper and slowly walk away …

Just know that when I give you a hug, I’m really checking to see if that fabric is wool or polyester.

My grandmother once told me, “as you sew so shall you rip.”

Did you know that Captain Picard of the Enterprise was an avid quilter? He was always saying, “Make it sew.”

I won’t say that quilts are superior to comforters – I refuse to make blanket statements.

One the quilters told us how she won a million dollars, but I suspect the story was fabricated.

I was going to tell you a joke about a blunt needle, but now it seems pointless.

Did you hear about the quilter who was also a standup comic? He left everyone in stitches.

I was embarrassed on the sewing forum website last night – I asked a question about embroidery on the wrong thread.

Unknown's avatar

About Andrew Reynolds

Born in California Did the school thing studying electronics, computers, release engineering and literary criticism. I worked in the high tech world doing software release engineering and am now retired. Then I got prostate cancer. Now I am a blogger and work in my wood shop doing scroll saw work and marquetry.
This entry was posted in wisdom and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

33 Responses to Friday Wisdom – Quilting

  1. Dave's avatar Dave says:
    06/15/2023 at 9:53 am

    Here I thought you wouldn’t have enough “material” for this topic, LOL. What your grandmother said, groan…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Lauren Scott, Author's avatar Baydreamer - Lauren Scott says:
    06/11/2023 at 10:24 am

    These are great, Andrew, and have fun at the show!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. joynealkidney's avatar joynealkidney says:
    06/11/2023 at 5:22 am

    Well, quilts ARE superior to comforters, a blanket statement, yes! Love the huggy one!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Sheila Landry Designs's avatar Sheila Landry Designs says:
    06/11/2023 at 3:37 am

    A show with classes sounds so fun! I hope you have a great time! Take some photos for us to see!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. deborah farris's avatar deborah w. farris says:
    06/10/2023 at 3:27 pm

    So clever and really funny. 🤣

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Diane Henders's avatar Diane Henders says:
    06/10/2023 at 9:22 am

    “Just hand over the seam ripper and slowly walk away …” Haha! That statement is part of most of my sewing projects. Have fun at your classes!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Ilsa Rey's avatar ParentingIsFunny says:
    06/10/2023 at 8:43 am

    TONS of good ones here, Andrew. I had a friend in college who asked if my shirt was cotton. “I think so,” I said. Then he touched my shirt between his fingers and said, “Now it’s felt.” 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  8. jfwknifton's avatar jfwknifton says:
    06/09/2023 at 11:42 pm

    My favourite was the joke about the “blunt needle” but, as always, they are all of a good standard.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. PiedType's avatar SusanR says:
    06/09/2023 at 5:56 pm

    “seams a little off” 🙂 So many good ones this time. Enjoy the show. Personally I can’t pass up a beautiful quilt on display. I’d probably go nuts at a show.

    Liked by 2 people

  11. brilliantviewpoint's avatar brilliantviewpoint says:
    06/09/2023 at 9:56 am

    This is great, look forward to see what you’re doing for quilting.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Flojo's avatar Flojo says:
    06/09/2023 at 9:02 am

    I love the Singer-songwriter. I don’t sew; that’s as close as I’ll come to a sewing machine. You and your wife as so talented!

    Liked by 2 people

  13. Ray V.'s avatar Ray V. says:
    06/09/2023 at 8:40 am

    “Sorry, but I don’t write many sewing jokes. I keep running out of material”

    One thing you never seem to run out of is material.

    Liked by 3 people

  14. Jacqui Murray's avatar Jacqui Murray says:
    06/09/2023 at 8:06 am

    Are Singer sewing machines even around anymore? I hope so.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Andrew Reynolds's avatar Andrew Reynolds says:
      06/09/2023 at 11:32 am

      Yes, they’re still around. Then tend to be used more in general home sewing rather than quilting. Quilters like to buy high end specialized machines where Singer tends to make general purpose machines at a great price.

      Liked by 2 people

  15. lifelonglearning743's avatar lifelonglearning743 says:
    06/09/2023 at 8:06 am

    Andrew, I just read one of your older posts where you mentioned combining the a poem with a quilting picture. That’s such a cool idea! Has that happened yet?

    Liked by 1 person

Comments are closed.