Friday Wisdom – Woodworking

Posted on 09/08/2023 by Andrew Reynolds

I did some woodworking this week so here’s what I know about that:

Woodworking – the art of cutting up large chunks of wood into small chunks,
and then gluing the small chunks together to make something big.

It looks better when viewed from six feet away.

Any one thinking money doesn’t grow on trees, hasn’t bought lumber recently.

Did you hear that the Hulk decided to open a woodworking business? It’s named, “Bruce’s Banisters.”

You know, it was really hard to make this box exactly four degrees out of square.

Measure twice, cut once, fill, sand, fill, …

A lumberjack walks up to a tree and says, “May I axe you something?”

Banks don’t like woodworkers, all they do is open up shavings accounts.

What kind of trees do you make shoes out of? Sandal-wood

I can’t cook wood in my kitchen — I only have non-stick pans …

I was going to write a joke about my scroll saw, but I didn’t think it wood work.

I was going to write joke about trees, but didn’t want to branch out on this post.

Anarchists are bad at carpentry because they have no rulers.

Unknown's avatar

About Andrew Reynolds

Born in California Did the school thing studying electronics, computers, release engineering and literary criticism. I worked in the high tech world doing software release engineering and am now retired. Then I got prostate cancer. Now I am a blogger and work in my wood shop doing scroll saw work and marquetry.
This entry was posted in wisdom and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

20 Responses to Friday Wisdom – Woodworking

  1. Lakshmi Bhat's avatar Lakshmi Bhat says:
    09/12/2023 at 12:58 am

    😊 Thank you for making me smile.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Mama's Empty Nest's avatar Mama's Empty Nest says:
    09/11/2023 at 9:09 am

    Not a joke but your post reminded me of an old saying — how much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? See how strange my mind is??? 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • Andrew Reynolds's avatar Andrew Reynolds says:
      09/11/2023 at 11:11 am

      I do think that from time to time when looking through my wood stack. and you know the answer: “A woodchuck would chuck as much wood as a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood” … 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Sheila Landry Designs's avatar Sheila Landry Designs says:
    09/09/2023 at 3:30 am

    As someone who has done a bit of woodworking, I can really appreciate these all. Thank you for the Friday smiles! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. jfwknifton's avatar jfwknifton says:
    09/08/2023 at 10:53 pm

    I really like the joke about the Hulk aand his woodworking business!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Diane Henders's avatar Diane Henders says:
    09/08/2023 at 6:39 pm

    Ha! Good ones, Andrew. A family friend once lamented, “I’ve cut that board twice, and it’s still too short.” Some days my woodworking projects feel like that. 😉

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Milena Alien's avatar Milena Alien says:
    09/08/2023 at 2:33 pm

    Axe you out for pixa

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Jacqui Murray's avatar Jacqui Murray says:
    09/08/2023 at 12:27 pm

    I needed that.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Dave's avatar Dave says:
    09/08/2023 at 12:14 pm

    “Bruce’s Banisters” – love that!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. PiedType's avatar SusanR says:
    09/08/2023 at 12:03 pm

    That first one got a giant LOL!

    Liked by 1 person

Comments are closed.