Friday Wisdom – Dogs

Last week I told you all about cats. This week it’s all about dogs. I’ve never owned a dog, but lots of my extended family has dogs so naturally I’m an expert. Here’s what I’ve learned:

Be careful when it’s raining cats and dogs. You don’t want to step in a poodle.

Did you know that the snowman named his dog Frost? Yup, that’s because Frost bites.

What kind of dogs are never late? Watch dogs, they always know what time it is.

Dalmations are terrible at playing hide and seek. They’re always spotted.

My son-in-law says his dog brings him the newspaper everyday. Which is amazing since they don’t subscribe to the paper.

What kind of dog can jump higher than a house? All dogs, houses can’t jump.

A dog goes into a bar and orders a gin and tonic. The bartender says, “We don’t get many dogs in here ordering gin and tonics.” The dog replied, “At these prices, I’m not surprised.”

Did you hear about the dog who went to the flea circus? He stole the show.

A man came home and said to his dog, “The neighbours are complaining that you’re chasing people on a bicycle.” The dog replies, “They’re lying, I don’t even own a bicycle.”

How do you get a dog to stop digging in your garden? Just take away his shovel.

My grandson named his two dogs Rolex and Timex. They’re watch dogs.

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About Andrew Reynolds

Born in California Did the school thing studying electronics, computers, release engineering and literary criticism. I worked in the high tech world doing software release engineering and am now retired. Then I got prostate cancer. Now I am a blogger and work in my wood shop doing scroll saw work and marquetry.
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15 Responses to Friday Wisdom – Dogs

  1. Thank you! Have a great weekend!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Thanks for the doggy chuckles, Andrew. Happy Friday! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

  3. jfwknifton's avatar jfwknifton says:

    I particularly liked the one about the dog and his bicycle but most of all, the one with the gin and tonic.

    Liked by 4 people

  4. momshieb's avatar momshieb says:

    I am Not letting my husband or Uncle Pun Guy see any of these. Nuh, uh.

    Liked by 5 people

  5. Dave's avatar Dave says:

    I’ve never had a dog that could fetch our newspaper… or anyone else’s for that matter.

    Liked by 3 people

  6. I’m a dog person. These are great.

    Liked by 4 people

  7. Haha, thanks, Andrew 🀣

    Liked by 4 people

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