Today is the monthly church quilting group and naturally I know everything there is to know about quilting so here we go:
I know I should write more quilting jokes, but I keep running out of material.
I had to send my sewing machine to a therapist – it was having tension issues.
Life is short, but a fabric stash is forever.
A clean house is a sign that my sewing machine is broken.
I’m writing a thriller novel: Day of the Thread.
I can be a tough person to deal with, I won’t just backstitch down …
When you see me holding a seam ripper, just back away slowly and no one gets hurt.
I took my sewing machine into the repair shop. I told them that the feed dogs are barking.
The needle and thread were so funny that they had the fabric in stitches.
Remember that quilting is a scrap of happiness.
I told my wife my New Year’s resolution, “I will not buy any more fabric until I use up the stash I have.” And then we just laughed and laughed …
If you have a quilt block that isn’t working right – try turning around, maybe it will work left.
Christmas trees are terrible at sewing – they keep dropping their needles.
I know a lady who writes songs about sewing machines, yup, she’s a Singer-songwriter.
Our pastor stopped by our quilting group last month and told us, “as you sew so shall you rip.”
Andrew's View of the Week 
I’m so far behind in blog reading, but reading this one today gave me a good laugh. And after being sick for 2 weeks, believe me, I needed a good laugh!!
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LOL! I laughed at all of your jokes, but ones about the eternal fabric stash are actually true. This Christmas I finally sewed a garment out of a piece of fabric I’d bought back in the 80s. One piece of fabric down… that must mean there’s room to buy more!
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You used some fabric!!! YES, time to go shopping!!!
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A fabric stash sounds like our collection of wrapping paper. Another Christmas goes by and it’s still not exhausted. And a seam-ripper looks like a truly terrifying tool. Maybe I should call you “Jack”?
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You could … 😉
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Great ones!
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LOVED IT!!!!
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Boy! I forgot it was Friday! It is after 4:30 pm my time and just now I see your post and realized that we are at the end of the week already! Thanks so much for the smiles! Happy New Year!
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Happy New Year!!!
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Thisx weel it’s the “lady who writes songs about sewing machines” by a long, long, way, in a particularly difficult subject.
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Truth! My brother has declared quilters have at least two hobbies: one is buying/collecting fabric and the other is actually making something with it. The family – including our mom, our sister, and his wife – agrees.
Thanks for the smiles.
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What fun to share these with a friend who co-owns Off the Rails Quilt Shop (Bondurant, Iowa)!
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These were good, Andrew. I do keep a stash of fabric–well, used to. I finally tossed the entire thing after not touching it for a decade! I should have sent it to you.
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You should have … 😉
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Oh how I look forward to these!
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