Friday Wisdom – Lakes

Posted on 07/14/2023 by Andrew Reynolds

We took a drive over to see Lake Tahoe today so here’s everything I know about lakes:

There’s a lake near me that is just filled with ducks. I thought about buying a house there, but then I thought that there would be just too many bills.

I never tell jokes near frozen lakes – they might crack up.

Elephants love to swim in lakes. That’s why they always have their trunks with them.

Have you heard of the ballet, “Frog Lake?” It’s like Swan Lake, only there’s a lot more jumping.

I saw a lady drop her cell phone into the lake. She said it was syncing.

In what state is the Great Salt Lake? Yup, liquid, it never freezes.

“Hello, I’m Jane and I’m an alcoholic.” “Ma’am, this is triple A, not AA” “I know, I’m just trying to explain why my car is in the lake.”

I couldn’t get my Bluetooth speaker to work, so I threw it in the lake. Now it’s syncing …

Devil: This is the lava lake you’ll be spending eternity in. Bob: Actually this is underground, so it would be magma. Devil: You do understand why you’re here?

I know a guy who bought some water skis, but took them back to the store – he couldn’t find a lake with a hill in it.

Is eating vegetables from a lake monster’s garden healthy? Not Nessie’s celery.

I was telling my friend some fun facts about the Nile. He asked, “Source?” I replied, “Lake Victoria.”

Where do ghosts like to go to water ski? Lake Erie.

There’s a law in Lake Tahoe that you can’t have to docks because that would be a paradox.

Be careful swimming in Philosophy Lake — It’s deep.

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Wednesday Working – Gabion Cage

Posted on 07/12/2023 by Andrew Reynolds

We finally started a landscaping project is worth a picture. There is a hill in our backyard and three years ago we had it covered in rock because we just didn’t have time to work on it. We’d like to do some planting in the area, but we need a small retaining wall so we’re building a line of Gabion cages and filling them with the rock:

We have two in place and likely will need about ten altogether. The cages are two feet tall by two feet wide and a foot deep. These are wire baskets that we fill with the rock covering the hill. I’ve been building the cages and Heather has been filling them with rock. It’s hard to see in the picture, but I drive rebar into each cage corner to reenforce and anchor it to the hill.

Here’s what a cage looks like before it gets filled:

It’s just fence wire that I bend and use bits of wire to hold together.

I expect this will keep us busy for a couple of more weeks. If you need me – I’ll looking for my lost wire cutters.

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Friday Wisdom – Fish

Posted on 07/07/2023 by Andrew Reynolds

We’re having fish tacos for lunch. Here’s everything I know about fish:

Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish and he won’t bother you for days.

I can tune a violin, but I can’t tuna fish.

I’ve never seen a fish cry, but I’ve seen a whale blubber.

It’s easy to weigh fish – they have their own scales.

Fish are very smart. Well, most live in schools.

Never fight an octopus, they’re too well armed.

What is a fish without and eye? A fsh

Why do fish swim in schools? ummm, fish can’t walk.

Why did the fish get bad grades? It was below sea level.

Fish don’t play basket ball – they’re terrified of nets.

I don’t get it – why are octopus arms called tentacles when there are only eight of them?

The pizza place just hired a lobster to work at the curst station.

I saw a new film about fishing – it had a very good cast.

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Friday Wisdom – Car Repair

Posted on 06/30/2023 by Andrew Reynolds

My car was in a minor fender bender and currently is in the shop. The damage is mostly cosmetic and no one was hurt so here’s everything I know about car repairs:

The shop said they couldn’t fix my brakes, so they just made the horn louder.

My car was making a strange humming noise. The mechanic said that was because it didn’t know the words.

I think my mechanic might be having memory problems, I took my car in for service and he asked what year is it.

So, would you need a current license to work on an electric car?

Don’t trust a car mechanic who rides a bicycle to work.

A jumper cable walks into a bar and the bartender yells, “Don’t start anything.”

The guy at the service center asked when I last rotated my tires. I said, “Every time I drive they rotate.”

To make a mechanical frog you can’t use bolts. You have to use rivets.

With all the research into self-driving cars, it won’t be long before we get a country song where a guy’s truck leaves him too.

Second law of stuck bolts: Don’t use force. Get a bigger hammer.

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