How to Help a Cancer Victim
First understand:
we’re confused,
we’re angry,
we’re stunned,
we’re overwhelmed,
we don’t know what we need.
Know you can’t fix it.
Know we’ve heard a lot to be frightened of.
Know we’re fragile.
We just want to be normal again.
I know you want to help.
I know you want to comfort.
I know you fear for me.
I know.
Don’t be surprised if I respond with anger.
Don’t be surprised if I respond with silence.
Don’t be surprised if I respond with a joke.
Don’t be surprised.
Some pain is in the body.
Some pain is in the mind.
Some pain damages the soul.
Help me.
I wish to be normal again.
I wish to talk to you like we once did.
I want to hear of your family,
of the dog, the cat, the car and your crazy Aunt Sally.
Call me, text me, email me,
do normal things with me.
A cup of coffee, a day on the beach,
a trip to the store, a hug for your old friend.
I am not writing this week as I focus my writing time on finishing editing my poetry book. Instead I offer the above poem from the collection I am working on.
Till next week,
Andrew
Andrew's View of the Week 
Nice.
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Thanks.
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Thanks, Andrew. I had cancer when I was a teenager and I didn’t have the words to express myself. I certainly wasn’t a poster child – in fact I became a problem child.
Thanks again XXOO
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Cancer is difficult to face, worse when you’re young. Glad you found something in these words.
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This is so important Andrew. It is a cancer victim’s perspective, but it adds straightforward advice for the friends who want so desperately to help.
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I heard it so many times, “I don’t know what to say.”
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Wonderful insight. The words were so deep and meaningful.Thanks for sharing. Take care Cally.
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Thanks for reading and commenting. It means a lot to know people are reading my words.
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They are wonderful words.
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Thanks, Andrew. This goes hand-in-hand with some advice a friend gave me last week about how to interact with another friend who just got a terminal diagnosis.
Ω
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Lots of times we struggle for what to do and say, when the best thing is often just, “buy you a cup of coffee?”
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Hard from both points of view, isn’t it, Andrew? I’m one of the fortunates, so far, who’ve only wondered what to say. But we never know whose turn next. This is very touching and right to the heart of it.
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It can be difficult from both sides. Often a simple, “Hello,” or “Nice to see you.” Is enough.
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This is so beautiful and poignant and accurate. Thank you.
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Thanks for reading. Glad you liked it.
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This is wonderful. The “do normal things with me” point is so important to remember.
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When normal is difficult, it becomes so much more important.
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Thank you for this poem. My brother in law is going through treatment for cancer at the moment. He has a terminal prognosis. Your words are true and made me pause. Thank you again.
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Sorry to hear of his prognosis. I am glad you found something in my words.
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You nailed it , Andrew.
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Thank you.
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Well said, Andrew. And likely fits so many people with chronic illnesses.
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Yes, this applies to many people.
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That’s really good. Thank you so much for sharing it with us.
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Thank you, it felt like the time to put this one out there.
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A tear of understanding, from someone else who just wants to be normal again.
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Yes, to be normal just once more.
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Excellent.
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Thank you.
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Your poem is spot on, Andrew. As so many we have lost very close relatives to cancer and doing ‘normal things’ was so important to them when we visited. Very touching poem and so true.
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Normal is so valuable. I wish more people understood the power of it.
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You.are.real. Thank you for b.e.i.n.g. We are all a part of the great Singularity. I just learned this, last night. And, I pass it to you. Be encouraged!
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Thanks for you kind words.
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Well, but they are more than “kind words.” I really mean them. Go to TheTruthAboutCancer.com and find some treatment protocols that can totally reverse the disease, and multiple testimonials to prove it. PLEASE.
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Thanks for the link.
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You’re welcome. I truly, truly hope you use it. It will save your life.
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Andrew, this is beautiful.
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Thank you.
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