One of my father’s served during WWII in the US Army Coast Artillery Corps, and this was one of his favorite sayings, “Walk your post in a military manner and take no shit from the battery commander.”
Here’s some others I use or have stollen:
The Drill Sergeant yelled at the squad, “All RIGHT! ALL YOU IDIOTS FALL OUT!” The squad started to wander away, but one soldier remained at attention. The Drill walked over to the soldier and glared at him. The soldier looked the Sergeant in the eye and said, “Sure were a lot of ’em Sergeant.”
What month do ground troops hate? March
How many officers does it take to start a jeep? Just one to call for the sergeant.
Note on laying out a camp: The coffee tastes better if the latrines are located well down stream of the cook’s tent.
How do you know when your date with a fighter pilot is half over? It’s when he says, “Enough about me, let me tell you about my plane.”
I failed the test to become a Marine so they put me in a Navy Sub because I was, Sub-Marine.
Why couldn’t the sailors play cards? The captain was sitting on the deck.
What grades do you need to join the Navy? Seven Cs
A young woman went to join the Navy and the recruiter asked, “Can you swim?” “Why do you ask, don’t you have boats?” she replied.
Airman: “Sure is hot and the A/C in our tent just died.” Solider: “You have A/C?” Marine: “You have tents?”
How do the different branches secure a building?
- Marines: Open fire, kill everyone, and setup headquarters inside.
- Army: Post sentries at every entrance.
- Navy: Turn out the lights and lock all the doors.
- Air Force: Get a five year lease with an option to buy.