Friday Wisdom – Money

Borrow money from pessimists – they don’t expect to get it back.

When does it rain money? When there is change in the weather.

Why did the bank robber take a bath? He wanted to make a clean get away.

In God we trust.Β  All others, pay cash.

Sign at the coffee shop on the tip jar: “Afraid of change? Leave it here.”

If you think no one cares, try missing a couple of payments.

I went to the bank to deposit a check and the asked for my ID.Β  I asked, “Are other people trying to deposit money in my account?”

I’m boycotting all those companies that are selling items I can’t afford.

A man is walking with God on the beach and the man asks, “God a second to you must be like a million years to me.”
God replied, “Yes, my son that is true.”
The man asked, “So a penny to you must be like a million dollars to me.”
God replied, “Yes, my son that is true.”
The man asked, “God, may I have a penny?”
God replied, “Of course, just a second.”

 

 

About Andrew Reynolds

Born in California Did the school thing studying electronics, computers, release engineering and literary criticism. I worked in the high tech world doing software release engineering and am now retired. Then I got prostate cancer. Now I am a blogger and work in my wood shop doing scroll saw work and marquetry.
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20 Responses to Friday Wisdom – Money

  1. How did I miss these? Brilliant!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. aquene7 says:

    Very good. I really liked the 1st one🀣🀣🀣

    Liked by 1 person

  3. “Of course, just a second” – bahahaha!!! Just goes to show: Never try to scam someone older and wiser than you…

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Baydreamer says:

    A good group, especially that last one! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Oh, that last one is the best! You must collect jokes like I collect quotes. And I’m glad you do because we all need great big belly laughs right now. Thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. jfwknifton says:

    Your joke about other people wanting to deposit money in my account is not that far of the mark in real life. Over here, bank security has reached new heights of stupidity on so many occasions.

    Liked by 1 person

    • It is getting dumber here. There’s more security on getting a little cash then moving huge sums. When I sold my house the bank transferred that money with just a phone call while the ATM is like a fort.

      Like

  7. kathy70 says:

    You don’t fail to put a smile on my face. Thank You. Hope you enjoy your Thanksgiving holiday no doubt in a safe manner.

    Like

  8. Christi says:

    That last one is priceless! πŸ˜‰

    Like

  9. K.L. Hale says:

    I feel I’m rolling in the dough today! Great ones!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. VEry good, Andrew. Have a great weekend.

    Liked by 1 person

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