Friday Wisdom – Police

I read that someone stole the toilet at the police stations. Detectives said they had nothing to go on.

I just saw a cop wearing a pilot’s uniform. Turns out he was a plane clothes officer.

Detectives just came to my house and asked, “Where were you between 5 and 6?” I replied, “Kindergarten.”

There was a fire at the donut shop, 2 fire engines and 20 police cars responded.

When the police officer pulled me over she asked if I had a police record. I said “No, but I’ve got a few Willie Nelson LPs.”

Did you read about the guy who stole a lamp? He got a light sentence.

The parking control officer asked why I parked there, I said, “The sign says fine for parking.”

I heard they arrested some celery for stalking.

Why did the cops raid the baseball game? They heard someone stole a base.

At the training academy a recruit was asked what would he do if he had to arrest his mother. He answered: “Call for back up.”

A cop pulled me over and said, “When I saw you driving down the road, I guessed 75.” I said, “Oh no officer, it’s the hat that makes me look that old.”

About Andrew Reynolds

Born in California Did the school thing studying electronics, computers, release engineering and literary criticism. I worked in the high tech world doing software release engineering and am now retired. Then I got prostate cancer. Now I am a blogger and work in my wood shop doing scroll saw work and marquetry.
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21 Responses to Friday Wisdom – Police

  1. Webb Blogs says:

    I really enjoyed this ā˜ŗ.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Every single one made me laugh.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. “Call for backup” the clear winner. šŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  4. “Nothing to go on!” Still laughing… šŸ˜€

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Debra says:

    I like the one about the Police record. Very clever. šŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I always love your Friday posts! Thanks, Andrew! šŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  7. jfwknifton says:

    Thank you so much for those, especially the one about kindergarten, although I enjoyed them all so much!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Pied Type says:

    You, sir, are incorrigible.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. davidprosser says:

    A few great howlers to make my Friday evening better. Thanks Andrew.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. dfolstad58 says:

    Happy Weekend Andrew. I look forward to your Friday posts and the smile you give me. Thanks.

    Liked by 2 people

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