I read that someone stole the toilet at the police stations. Detectives said they had nothing to go on.
I just saw a cop wearing a pilot’s uniform. Turns out he was a plane clothes officer.
Detectives just came to my house and asked, “Where were you between 5 and 6?” I replied, “Kindergarten.”
There was a fire at the donut shop, 2 fire engines and 20 police cars responded.
When the police officer pulled me over she asked if I had a police record. I said “No, but I’ve got a few Willie Nelson LPs.”
Did you read about the guy who stole a lamp? He got a light sentence.
The parking control officer asked why I parked there, I said, “The sign says fine for parking.”
I heard they arrested some celery for stalking.
Why did the cops raid the baseball game? They heard someone stole a base.
At the training academy a recruit was asked what would he do if he had to arrest his mother. He answered: “Call for back up.”
A cop pulled me over and said, “When I saw you driving down the road, I guessed 75.” I said, “Oh no officer, it’s the hat that makes me look that old.”