Friday Wisdom – Food

My wife went to the back of the boat to cook a simple dinner – just a little stern fry.

I’ve been trying to write cooking jokes, but nothing has been panning out.

Just read a bout a guy arrested for stealing cooking utensils. He reportedly said it was worth the whisk.

I wanted to surprise the family by doing a BBQ. Sadly the fire engine sirens ruined it.

If I die choking on a gummy bear, I hope the just say I was killed by a bear and leave it at that.

I just burned 2,500 calories in one hour. Next time I put brownies in the oven, I’ll start a timer.

So smoking will kill you … bacon can kill you … but smoking bacon cures it …

Did you hear about the man who broke into a kitchen? He heard they had a bread making machine.

Why didn’t the butcher make it to the golf final? He’s know for his slicing …

The baker said that he only gives out his recipes on a knead to know basis.

I knew a chef who could take cheese and make grate things.

I didn’t like the chef. I though he had a shellfish attitude.

About Andrew Reynolds

Born in California Did the school thing studying electronics, computers, release engineering and literary criticism. I worked in the high tech world doing software release engineering and am now retired. Then I got prostate cancer. Now I am a blogger and work in my wood shop doing scroll saw work and marquetry.
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24 Responses to Friday Wisdom – Food

  1. Vinny says:

    Smoked Bacon! Very funny!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ha! I like the brownie joke especially.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. ‘Burned 2500 calories’ – now that’s a tragic tale of lost brownies!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Flojo says:

    I have sisters-in-law who have boats and who are great cooks. That stern
    fry joke is perfect for them.Thanks for the funnies!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Tell people a bear killed me. Love it. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Great cooking jokes!
    I especially laughed at the BBQ sirens! πŸ˜†πŸ€£

    Liked by 1 person

  7. jfwknifton says:

    Yes, cheered me up again, thank you so much!!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Yes, your Friday funnies are cheesy, but I love ’em!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. A. Swanson says:

    Especially love the joke about choking on the gummy bear and the one about burning brownies:)

    Liked by 1 person

  10. davidprosser says:

    A couple only just above the groan standard there Andrew. A bit cheesey.
    Hugs

    Liked by 1 person

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