A Poem

I haven’t been writing much this summer. Between the smoke and other problems, I’ve been distracted from the writing desk. The Caldor fire is started to be contained and evacuation orders are being lifted. The air quality here is better, but still not so good – at least the yard doesn’t smell like a campfire. Below is a poem I’ve been working on for sometime. It’s still raw, but if you can think of any improvements for it, let me know in the comments.

Mowing the Lawn in the Desert

Virginia Range looming
over the garden shed.

Morning perfume of pine and dirt
mixed with a touch of damp.

Memories of camping among the lodgepole pines
with the music of crystal clear water over rock.

Quiet voices and the gentle creak of bear lockers
echo off the peaks as we made our way to the restrooms

Smell of bacon rising above the wisps of vapor
from the small cook stove.

The orange light of dawn pushing up
from the dip between the peaks
casts a weak light over the shed
and lawn.

An electric mower.
A click as the battery slides home.

Children climbing rocks and jumping in rivers
is replaced by the gentle hum
of blades cutting grass.

The Shangri-la of the camp fire
and marshmallows
replaced by the smell
of chlorophyll from a manicured lawn.

About Andrew Reynolds

Born in California Did the school thing studying electronics, computers, release engineering and literary criticism. I worked in the high tech world doing software release engineering and am now retired. Then I got prostate cancer. Now I am a blogger and work in my wood shop doing scroll saw work and marquetry.
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26 Responses to A Poem

  1. kentucky55 says:

    If I write a poem about a broken heart I get sympathy comments like it really is happening to me. It’s very kind of them but I have to tell them, it’s not about me I’m 82 !

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I like how you mix the past and the present, memories and moments now. Since you asked for constructive feedback, my suggestion is to put a sentence in between the end of the camping memories and the beginning of the present moment, so that your reader knows where your thoughts are. I really like this poem, I could smell the pines, the damp, and the bacon. I could hear the kids playing. Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. This brought back such wonderful memories of camping (before the campgrounds were more crowded than the cities). Lovely!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Nancy Ruegg says:

    I’ve never mown on a lawn in the desert, but many of your sensory images are familiar to most of us anyway. Delightfully written, Andrew! You conjured up many pleasant memories of my own.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Baydreamer says:

    Wonderful poem with excellent imagery!

    Like

  6. Debra says:

    I really enjoyed the excellent imagery, Andrew. In my imagination I could engage with all my senses. Very well done.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I think this is a great poem, Andrew. I can relate to it very well.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I definitely like the sensory images.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I often wonder if those who move to the beautiful desert miss the greenery and lawn. I realize that all desert isn’t without grass, but my ex-inlaws moved from the Chicago area to the Arizona desert and the yard was more dry dirt than growth. It was kept well and pretty – but in a different way. I love the smell of mown grass. Being a girl who moved to the ocean from the midwest, I would miss the ‘touch of damp’. I always hear of the ‘dryness’ of the desert. But then again, I love the cold and snow, so I am somewhat unusual in that. But that is what makes the world work- right? We all prefer different types of beauty. One day I would love to visit that area though. I loved the poem. It brought lovely pictures to my mind. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • The desert has its own beauty but sometimes I do miss the green. Water shortages do limit how much lawn you can have. The lawn at my house was planted by the previous owner and I’ll likely be reducing how much we have, but a small section or two will remain.

      Like

  10. lifelessons says:

    Very evocative. Only change I’d suggest is changing “made our way” to “make our way” to make it all in the present tense. And, I am so curious about what bear lockers are…

    Liked by 2 people

  11. davidprosser says:

    I’m glad the Caldor fire is being contained. That at least should make the air quality so much better for you Andrew, The Poem is excellent.
    Hugs

    Liked by 1 person

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