Friday Wisdom – Banks

I went to the bank today so naturally you get banking jokes:

My father told me to save until my bank balance looks like a telephone number. I now have $9.11 (that would be Β£9.99 for you UK bunch).

It was raining money today – yup, we had change in the weather.

Why did the bank buy a cow? To beef up security.

If money talks, why do we need bank tellers?

Did you read about the naked bank robber? No one could remember his face.

If you don’t think the bank cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

So, money doesn’t grow on trees … why do banks have branches?

Rivers are so rich that they have two banks.

I got a great compliment from the bank, they said my loan was outstanding.

My banker said to put something away for a rainy day. I already have an umbrella …

Did you hear about the banker who had to retire? He was riding his bike and lost his balance.

Let me tell you, his credit was so bad that the bank wouldn’t even lend him a pen to fill out the loan application.

About Andrew Reynolds

Born in California Did the school thing studying electronics, computers, release engineering and literary criticism. I worked in the high tech world doing software release engineering and am now retired. Then I got prostate cancer. Now I am a blogger and work in my wood shop doing scroll saw work and marquetry.
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18 Responses to Friday Wisdom – Banks

  1. A lot of these brought LOLs, but the naked bank robber wins, as it elicited the coveted snort-laugh. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  2. LOL! I read this with great ‘interest’. πŸ˜‰

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Baydreamer says:

    The one about the loan brought a groan. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  4. bg says:

    dam, once again nz exchange rate is crap, in nz it’s $1.11 πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  5. jfwknifton says:

    Some really good jokes here. Put five or six of these joke filled posts together, and you’ve got yourself a stand-up act. Are you very far from Vegas?

    Liked by 1 person

    • It’s about 450 miles to Vegas – 7-8 hour drive or a 1 hour flight. The only problem with a stand-up act is that you have to stand-up. If I could do stand-up siting down, I might. πŸ˜‰

      Like

  6. I used to work for one of the large banks in Downtown Chicago before it was taken over by the conglomerate. It was one of my favorite jobs. Fun post. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  7. davidprosser says:

    HaHa, I’ll pass these on to my daughter and son in law both of whom are bankers or do I mean bonkers?
    Hugs for the weekend.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. A particularly good post, Andrew.

    Liked by 3 people

  9. All too funny! Lucky you that your bank was so complimentary. I went for a catscan lately and it noted that my kidneys and liver were unremarkable. I thought that was rather rude. 😯

    Liked by 3 people

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