Friday Wisdom – Halloween

Sunday is Halloween so I feel morally obligated to offer you these insights about things that go bump in the night (or stop by your house to get candy). Well, I hope it doesn’t rain on Halloween – that would dampen a lot of spirits.

Ghouls like demons because demons are a ghoul’s best friend.

I’ve heard that ghosts like to go to bars for the Boos.

I heard that the headless horseman decided to go into business. He said he just wanted to get ahead …

The mummy wasn’t allowed to go to school with the witches because he couldn’t spell.

I was told that being kissed by a vampire is a pain in the neck.

Did you hear about the vampire who was having trouble with his house? It’s a grave problem.

Do you know why skeletons are so calm? Nothing gets under their skin.

Werewolves hate flea markets.

A skeleton walked into a restaurant and asked for an order of spare ribs.

Who won the skeleton beauty contest? Nobody.

The vampire got a bad case of heart burn after he had a stake sandwich.

They had to put a fence around the graveyard because everyone was dying to get in.

My son asked me to fix his broken Jack-o-lantern so first we got some pumpkin patch …

A witch just asked me to build her a garage. Well, really it was more of a broom closet.

About Andrew Reynolds

Born in California Did the school thing studying electronics, computers, release engineering and literary criticism. I worked in the high tech world doing software release engineering and am now retired. Then I got prostate cancer. Now I am a blogger and work in my wood shop doing scroll saw work and marquetry.
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18 Responses to Friday Wisdom – Halloween

  1. Ha! Good ones, all. Happy Halloween!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Christi says:

    Those stake sandwiches are the worst!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Baydreamer says:

    The Boos and Get ahead were hilarious! All good though for this spooky event. Happy Halloween, Andrew! πŸ’€πŸŽƒπŸ˜πŸ‘»

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Pingback: Sharing The View | Mitigating Chaos

  5. Happy Halloween, Andrew! As always – it is a delightful post. We have wind and rain here today (Sunday – Halloween) but I think most of the activities for the kiddies were yesterday. It is hard to tell living in the country. So different from when I was growing up in Chicago. Have a Boo-ti-ful day! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  6. My husband, a teacher, told a student, “It must be your bedtime because you need to be tucked in.” The kid was like, Huh? until my husband pointed out the untucked shirt. Even the kid had to give it up to my husband saying, “That was a good one!”
    Once again, had to tell you. πŸ™‚ Happy Halloween, Andrew.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Ray V. says:

    I think I just found my Halloween post. Thank you. Will you be joining us Wednesday evening on the zoom? I’m assuming you received an invitation, but if not, let me know.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Debra says:

    “Demons are a girls best friend…” Excellent!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. dorannrule says:

    Good ones I wish I could remember.

    Like

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