It snowed here in the desert yesterday so direct from the freezer are the following bits of wisdom.
Before launching into the wisdom, I wanted to address the questions I get about where I get these bits of wisdom. Well, there are really only seven jokes – Read Glenn Grunenberger’s book, There Are Only Seven Jokes. No, I haven’t read the book, I’m just using the title to prove my point. So, it’s really easy to come up with jokes, you just take one of the seven basic prototype jokes, add the subject you joking about, change the point of view and presto – new wisdom each week. Also, Google is a powerful tool. Just typing in, “Jokes about wedding cakes” and you’ll get a million or so references – all rewrites of the seven basic jokes. So on a Friday morning, I pick a subject, like snow, do a little googling and then steal, rewrite, remember my dad’s jokes and generally pick seven to ten really funny lines and call it ‘wisdom.’
I hope that doesn’t spoil your enjoyment of my little Friday column, but that’s how it’s done. Let me start your off with an example of joke rewriting. Here’s the original joke:
How do elves get around at the North Pole? They ride an icicle.
Now let’s change things around a bit:
How did the snowman get downtown? He rode an icicle.
Did you hear Santa’s Sleigh broke down and he had to use is icicle to deliver all the presents?
I read about a guy who robed the ice cream store during a snow storm. Police say he escaped on an icicle.
There was a big snow storm yesterday and the mail truck couldn’t get to my house, so I had to ride my icicle to post office.
and so on for about another 1,000 jokes. That’s how I do it. I cheat. Here’s a couple more for you to share.
What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Frosted Flakes.
Why did the band go out in the snow to rehearse? They wanted to learn how to play cool music.
What do you call an old snowman? A puddle.
I bought a snow shovel yesterday. Sadly it melted before I got home.
The grandkids have been staring through the window since it started snowing so bad. Guess I’ll have to let them inside.
What do you call a snowboarder without a girl friend? Homeless. (note, this is a rewrite of jokes about painters, musicians, artists, gamblers, etc).
I was out talking to a snowman and he asked, “Can you smell carrots?”
Andrew's View of the Week 
Ah, the one about the grandkids. So bad. So funny. 🙂
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🙂
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“A puddle” – hilarious! And thanks for the joke-writing tutorial – I never realized there was an actual process. I learn something new every day… 🙂
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Humor is a serious business … 😉
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I think I like the puddle one the best. 🙂 No matter where you get your inspiration, they are fun and I look forward to them each weekend. Sometimes I get here late, but I always stop by to smile. Have a great week! 🙂
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It’s fun writing these things.
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Aha! But you still have to be clever…and you are!
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Yup, still have to think about what I doing. 😉
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Enjoyed the backstory and the old snowman joke. 🙂
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I loved that joke too. I think this was the best variation of it. 😉
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A delightful coincidence. We got our first official snow today too (in Denver). It was official at .1 inch, but we got a whopping .3 inch!
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Wow – break out the snowshoes … 😉
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History of jokes is fascinating. You are still a brilliant and funny guy. Hope you had enough snow for a snowman.
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Well, it was a really small snowman, but another storm is on its way so hopefully the next snowman will be big enough to actually see.
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Oh what fun! 🎄 Wishing you and yours a blessed and beautiful Christmas Season, Andrew!
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We’ve got lots of Christmas plans here!
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That was interesting–and fun. No, the backstory didn’t erase the magic of your brilliance at all.
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I know people were wondering.
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Unlike the Wizard of Oz, the Wizard of Andrew’s View of the Week just make Friday’s even more fun!
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I like a little fun!
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And we’re all thankful for that!
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