Friday Wisdom – Gardening

Heather has been working hard in the garden while I’ve been tearing down the shed. Today we went to the garden center and bought plants, lots of plants so here is everything I know about gardening:

Potatoes make great detectives – they always have their eyes peeled.

At the garden center they told us all about growing herbs. Sage advice.

I was up very early this morning and wondered where the sun was, then it dawned on me.

I am perfecting my garden through a process of trowel and error.

I found an interesting plant at the garden center. It was a four-leaf clover crossed with poison oak. They called it a rash of good luck.

What is brown and runs around a garden? The fence.

A slug is a homeless snail.

There is one plant that is always cold: the chilli

The cabbage won the race by a head.

I read a novel about a lady with a very small garden – not much of a plot.

Turns out trees are good at math – the know all about logarithms.

What day of the week do potatoes hate? Fry-day.

The cucumbers were in trouble, quite a pickle really.

Most people don’t laugh at my garden jokes – they’re just too corny.

Potting soil was on sale so I bought four bags – it was dirt cheap.

I didn’t know this, but the fastest vegetable in the garden is the runner bean.

There’s a new company selling insurance for gardens. The company name is Oopsie Daisies …

I went out to the garden this morning and it was flooded. Turns out there was a leek.

About Andrew Reynolds

Born in California Did the school thing studying electronics, computers, release engineering and literary criticism. I worked in the high tech world doing software release engineering and am now retired. Then I got prostate cancer. Now I am a blogger and work in my wood shop doing scroll saw work and marquetry.
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28 Responses to Friday Wisdom – Gardening

  1. Here it is “Friday Eve” and I am just catching up from last week! Thank you as always for the humor. I hope you had great week!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. WebbBlogs says:

    Some really good ones 😁

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Great ones! Chuckling as I head out to check on the garden…heaven only knows what’s going on out there! Thanks, Andrew.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. You just keep getting better and better! Or groanier and groanier?

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Oopsie Daisies?! That’s adorable!

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Baydreamer says:

    These are great, and that last one, groan. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Ha! Who knew there were so many good garden jokes? Maybe it’s because after you’ve lived through the usual garden disasters of heat and frost and rain and hail and bugs, you pretty much have to develop a sense of humour.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. jfwknifton says:

    That’s one of your best sets of Friday jokes in quite a while. Good work!!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. You have a lot of good ones there. I got a good laugh. Amazing how we can use words for humor!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. GP says:

    haha, it seems you know a heck of a lot more about gardening than I do!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I laughed, Reynolds. Thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. That one about not laughing at your gardening jokes–pretty funny, Andrew. Not true at all!

    Liked by 2 people

  13. SusanR says:

    Thanks. The levity is especially appreciated right now.

    Liked by 1 person

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