Friday Wisdom – Banks

Last week I had a conversation with my financial advisor and today I went to an ATM so here’s everything I know about banks and money:

My father used to say, “In God we trust. All others pay cash.”

Money talks, but chocolate sings.

Always borrow money from pessimists – the don’t expect to get it back.

It’s bad enough that banks and jewelry stores get robbed, but robbing a bakery? That takes the cake.

I’m thinking of moving my bank accounts to Ireland – I hear their capital’s Dublin.

River’s are always rich. Well, they do have two banks.

The skeleton said he couldn’t rob a bank – he just doesn’t have the guts …

So, if money talks, why are there bank tellers?

I read that a naked man robbed a bank here in town. The police can’t find him – no witnesses saw his face.

My local bank just announced they’re going to buy some cows. They said they needed to beef up security.

My father said to work till I have a bank balance that looks like a phone number – I now have $9.11 in savings. (Β£9.99 to you of the UK persuasion).

So I don’t understand, if money doesn’t grow on trees, why do banks have branches?

My mother used to keep her money in the freezer – she always said there was nothing like cold hard cash.

The bank manager had to quit riding his bicycle – kept losing his balance.

The store said they’d get me a rain check from their cloud bank.

I told my wife that I had no interest in banking … she said I wasn’t a lone.

About Andrew Reynolds

Born in California Did the school thing studying electronics, computers, release engineering and literary criticism. I worked in the high tech world doing software release engineering and am now retired. Then I got prostate cancer. Now I am a blogger and work in my wood shop doing scroll saw work and marquetry.
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30 Responses to Friday Wisdom – Banks

  1. I should put some money in the freeze for my husband to find and ask me about. Heehee. That would be funny. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  2. kathy70 says:

    Now there is a valid reason to say yes to chocolate always. As if I need an excuse. Thanks for the giggles.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I bet that guy that robbed the bakery got a lot of dough! πŸ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Happy weekend, Andrew. I hope things are getting back to normal a bit for you. Thanks for the Friday smiles. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Dave says:

    “That takes the cake” – HA!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. jfwknifton says:

    Thanks very much for your explanation of the 911 joke. I suspect I wouldn’t have understood it without that.
    Here in Merrye Englande, 911 apparently takes you to a control centre where you are rerouted to emergency services, if they are happy that your problem warrants it.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Very thoughtful ideas in this post, Andrew.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. LOL! Seems to me you’re passing funny money, Andrew. πŸ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

  9. lifelessons says:

    Are these all your inventions, Andrew?

    Liked by 1 person

  10. SusanR says:

    Some good ones in here!

    Liked by 1 person

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