Friday Wisdom – Doctors

One of the less enjoyable things of getting older is the number of medical visits you have to make. In the last ten days I’ve been to three visits to the medical center and get to go back again in a couple of more. It’s not a major issue, but it has to be done. While the wheels of the medical system turn, here’s what I know about doctors:

They told me this great joke about amnesia, but I forget how it goes.

Did you know that 9 out of 10 injections are in vein?

Sign at the drug rehab clinic: “Keep off the Grass”

An apple a day can only keep the doctor away if you have good aim.

I was walking past the pharmacy in the hospital and there was this big sign, “Quiet” in front. They don’t want to wake the sleeping pills.

I said, “Doctor I think I need glasses.” A woman replied, “Yes, you really do! This is a hardware store.”

They had to take a little boy to the hospital last night after he swallowed a coin. I ask his parents how he was doing. They said, “No change yet.”

The radiologist was laughing at my x-ray. She said it was humerus.

I went to the doctor’s office and told them I was having memory problems. They made me pay in advance.

A man went to the ER and said, “I’ve swallowed a spoon!” The nurse told him to sit down and don’t stir.

Known fact: The worst time to have a heart attack is while playing charades.

They wheeled him into the operating room, and he had a change of heart.

The invisible man went to the emergency room, but they said they couldn’t see him.

About Andrew Reynolds

Born in California Did the school thing studying electronics, computers, release engineering and literary criticism. I worked in the high tech world doing software release engineering and am now retired. Then I got prostate cancer. Now I am a blogger and work in my wood shop doing scroll saw work and marquetry.
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23 Responses to Friday Wisdom – Doctors

  1. Heart attack while playing charades–too true!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hope you are OK. Most enjoyable read, especially since I work for a Hospital.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. “This is a hardware store” – hahaha! Thanks for the chuckles, Andrew. I hope all your trips to the doctor are soon resolved quickly and painlessly. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  4. SusanR says:

    Charades and grass did it for me.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Dave says:

    I will play Charades more attentively from now on… πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Several times a week I pack an apple in my husband’s lunch. Next time I’ll include a note telling him to duck 🀣

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Good ones! Great start to my weekend, Andrew.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. jfwknifton says:

    I think this week it is the one about an apple a day keeping the doctor away, with the boy who swallowed a coin a close second.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I liked the coin one best. πŸ˜€ I hope you are doing OK. Have a great weekend.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Flojo says:

    Clever ones! Gotta laugh. I think humor is good for your health. Thanks, Andrew.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. The spoon one, followed by the charades! I’m thankful for modern medicine, but am praying for your unwanted doctor visits.

    Liked by 1 person

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