Friday Wisdom – Lawn Care

So far this week, it’s snowed and rained. No freezing temps for most of the week and looking out my office window, it looks like I need to mow the lawn this weekend so here’s everything I know about lawn care:

Song lyrics to sing while mowing: “I fought the lawn, but the lawn won.”

Sign on the lawn at the rehab center: “Keep off the grass.”

My description of a perfect summer day: Sun is shining, there is a light breeze, birds are singing, there are steaks on the BBQ and the lawn mower is broken.

My neighbor has a service that brings out a cow to eat the grass short. It’s a lawn moo-er service.

I asked the Hulk for some advice about my lawn. I know, but he does have green fingers …

A friend of mine just got taken to the hospital. He was out on his lawn looking at caterpillar tracks when he was suddenly run over by a bulldozer.

The police said that the burglars used grass to pick a lock at a house they robed. I don’t know, that evidence may have been planted.

I had an old lawn mower I wanted to get rid of, so I put it at the end of my driveway with a “FREE” sign on it. Someone took the sign but left the mower. I should have been more specific.

I just saw a man slumped over his lawn mower crying. I asked him if there was anything I could do. He said he’d be fine, he was just going through a rough patch.

I had to buy a new lawn mower. The old one just wasn’t cutting it.

What did the monkey say when he got his tail caught in a lawn mower? It won’t be long now.

About Andrew Reynolds

Born in California Did the school thing studying electronics, computers, release engineering and literary criticism. I worked in the high tech world doing software release engineering and am now retired. Then I got prostate cancer. Now I am a blogger and work in my wood shop doing scroll saw work and marquetry.
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13 Responses to Friday Wisdom – Lawn Care

  1. “Lawn moo-er” – ha! Thanks for the chuckles, Andrew!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. jfwknifton says:

    THat may be your best set in a very long time, although, I do admit that I have a lot of emotional baggage when it comes to lawn mowing.
    My favourite? β€œI fought the lawn, but the lawn won.”

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Lots of fun! It’s been cold and rainy here too, so I wonder where spring went? πŸ™‚


  4. And my gardener just showed up. Maybe I’ll share this with him…

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Happy weekend! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  6. SusanR says:

    β€œKeep off the grass.” ROFL

    Liked by 1 person

  7. A fun way to end the week!

    Liked by 1 person

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