Friday Wisdom – Doctors

This year my doctors have been finding lots of reasons for me to go get medical tests. I think there are basic reasons: I’m over 60 and I complain about stuff to my doctor. A friend of mine thinks it’s because I have a great credit rating and pay all my bills. He suggested that do something to lower my credit rating and the doctors won’t prescribe so many tests. In any case here’s what I’ve learn about doctors:

I told the doctor I thought I was having memory loss – he made me pay in advance.

The medical assistant said, “Doctor there’s a man on line 1 who says he’s invisible.”  The doctor replied, “Tell him I can’t see him right now.”

The doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life.  He was right. I started jogging and feel 10 years older.

Four years ago my therapist said I had trouble letting go of the past.

Doctor says to the patient, “I’ve not seen you in a long time.” Patient replied, “Yes, I’ve been sick.”

On a job application where it asks who to call in an emergency, I always put, “A good doctor.”

Never go to a plastic surgeon who’s office is filled with portraits by Picasso.

My nurse told me a joke about amnesia, but I forget how it goes.

A Dalmatian went to see a doctor. It complained of seeing spots.

An apple a day will keep the doctor away, but only if you’re a good aim.

I wasn’t sure that scoliosis surgery would work, but I now stand corrected.

I told the doctor I didn’t want brain surgery, but she said I needed to have an opened mind.

I was disappointed with my laser eye surgery – they don’t implant actual lasers.

Most doctors I meat seem very calm. That’s because they have lots of patients.

About Andrew Reynolds

Born in California Did the school thing studying electronics, computers, release engineering and literary criticism. I worked in the high tech world doing software release engineering and am now retired. Then I got prostate cancer. Now I am a blogger and work in my wood shop doing scroll saw work and marquetry.
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21 Responses to Friday Wisdom – Doctors

  1. My husband keeps asking why I’m laughing. Because Andrew is hilarious!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I go to way too many doctors! I don’t complain about anything for fear they’ll send me to another doctor!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. The Picasso one for sure. 🙂 Thanks for the laughs, Andrew.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. “I can’t see him right now” – ha! Thanks for the laughs! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. jfwknifton says:

    For me, it’s the one about keeping the doctor away with an apple!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Dave says:

    “I stand corrected” – OMG. This is a great list!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Like maintaining a vintage car . . . 😉 Good luck with your appointments.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Perfect! And of course, funny.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Love the Picasso one!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. SusanR says:

    As a doctor’s kid, I love this stuff. Not to mention I’ve reached the age where I tell time by how long till the next doctor appointment.

    Liked by 1 person

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