Friday Wisdom – Investing

I’ve not been to active here this month as I’ve been putting most of my writing time into my poetry class. Also, I’ve been visiting a lot of medical offices, but that seems to be all cleared up. Today I had a phone call with my investment adviser to review my retirement funds so here’s everything I know about investing:

Borrow money from pessimists – they don’t expect to get it back.

Here’s how to get a million dollars in stock valuation: buy 2 million dollars of stocks.

Money is always there – it just changes pockets.

Remember the golden rule: Those who have the gold make the rules.

My adviser said that a detailed study of the market shows that the best time to buy anything was last year.

The stock market is weird. Every time one person sells, another person buys and both think they’re smart.

One sure place you can always find money is in the dictionary.

I told my father that I wanted to be an investment banker when I grew up, but then I lost interest.

The trick is to stop thinking of it as ‘your’ money – IRS auditing department.

The best way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.

Did you hear about the grumpy banker? He never got any credit.

My broker said that investing in ink is an unwise investment. It’s part of a dyeing industry.

Old cars are a great investment – they double in value every time you fill the gas tank.

I told my accountant that I was going to buy some new speakers for my TV. He thought that was a sound investment.

About Andrew Reynolds

Born in California Did the school thing studying electronics, computers, release engineering and literary criticism. I worked in the high tech world doing software release engineering and am now retired. Then I got prostate cancer. Now I am a blogger and work in my wood shop doing scroll saw work and marquetry.
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22 Responses to Friday Wisdom – Investing

  1. Priti says:

    The stock market is really weird! Buyer and seller both think they are smart 😁

    Liked by 1 person

  2. The trick is to stop thinking of it as ‘your’ money – IRS auditing department. Haha.
    That gas tank one hits me too close to home.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. jfwknifton says:

    Funnily enough, I used to have a very ancient Volvo, and with its 15 gallon tank filled up, that did double the car’s value.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. The first one got a laugh out loud from me! 😆

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Good ones, Andrew.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. One sure place is in the dictionary. Good one! 😂

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Always fun. 🙂 Have a great weekend.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Ha! Thanks for the chuckles – I particularly like the ‘old cars’!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. SusanR says:

    I like the old cars one too. Mine is a 2011 edition and I don’t expect to replace it.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Especially enjoyed that first one!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Flojo says:

    I love the old cars one, doubling in value when you fill the tank. Ain’t that the truth! — Hope all is well, health and investment wise.

    Liked by 3 people

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