It’s a week of a lot of church activities. I preached at my church last Sunday, Monday was men’s group, writer’s group was yesterday and tonight is a dinner group. I know a lot of stuff about church so here it is:
Never heard at a church:
- I’d like a turn sitting in the front pew.
- I love 35 minute sermons.
- Sure, I’d love to lead the middle school youth group for the next 5 years.
- I love singing hymns I’ve never heard before.
We welcome all denominations at my church — ones, fives, tens, twenties, hundreds …
I was talking to a dentist who attends our church. He said his favorite hymn was, “Crown him with Many Crowns.”
Message for the week: Plan ahead — it wasn’t raining when Noah built the ark.
I asked a physicist if photons have mass. She said that she didn’t think they were Catholic.
I’ve noticed that some folks are kind and polite until you try to sit in their pews.
To make a long story short — don’t tell it.
Did you know that Moses was the first person to download something from the cloud to a tablet?
There are three kinds of church members: Those who can count and those who can’t.
A clear conscience is a sign of a bad memory.
I can’t believe it! someone stopped payment on my reality check.
Andrew's View of the Week 
This is very clever: Did you know that Moses was the first person to download something from the cloud to a tablet?
But the photons have mass one made me snort the loudest.
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I mean, who knew? 😉
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Someone very smart figured it out. 🙂
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“Crown Him With Many Crowns” – perfect 🙂
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🙂
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Clever and funny. Thanks
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🙂
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“A clear conscious is the sign of a bad memory.’ – I like that. 😉
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Yes, and this one! Also one of my favorites.
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🙂
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🙂
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