Friday Wisdom – Quilting

Posted on 06/07/2024 by Andrew Reynolds

Today was our monthly quilting gathering at the church. Here’s some of what I know about quilting:

I had to send my sewing machine to therapy. It had too many tension issues.

Sewing: The fabric of my life.

If you see a seam ripper in my hands, just back away slowly and quietly.

I’m really hugging you to see if that fabric is wool or polyester.

I know a guy who writes songs about sewing machines – He’s a Singer-songwriter.

Sorry, but I don’t write many sewing jokes. I keep running out of material.

A little known fact: Christmas trees are bad at sewing. Yup, they keep dropping their needles.

If your block isn’t working right, turn it over — it might work left.

There’s something wrong with my sewing machine. Not sure what it is, but it just seams a little off.

Just hand over the seam ripper and slowly walk away …

Just know that when I give you a hug, I’m really checking to see if that fabric is wool or polyester.

My grandmother once told me, “as you sew so shall you rip.”

Did you know that Captain Picard of the Enterprise was an avid quilter? He was always saying, “Make it sew.”

I won’t say that quilts are superior to comforters – I refuse to make blanket statements.

One the quilters told us how she won a million dollars, but I suspect the story was fabricated.

I was going to tell you a joke about a blunt needle, but now it seems pointless.

Did you hear about the quilter who was also a standup comic? He left everyone in stitches.

I was embarrassed on the sewing forum website last night – I asked a question about embroidery on the wrong thread.

About Andrew Reynolds

Born in California Did the school thing studying electronics, computers, release engineering and literary criticism. I worked in the high tech world doing software release engineering and am now retired. Then I got prostate cancer. Now I am a blogger and work in my wood shop doing scroll saw work and marquetry.
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19 Responses to Friday Wisdom – Quilting

  1. Mama's Empty Nest says:
    06/14/2024 at 9:25 am

    In the case of my sewing skills, one of those jokes fits. As you sew, so shall you rip.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  2. Lakshmi Bhat says:
    06/13/2024 at 8:32 am

    That is good 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  3. Diane Henders says:
    06/09/2024 at 7:05 am

    Ha! You had me in stitches! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  4. ParentingIsFunny says:
    06/08/2024 at 3:36 pm

    I’m really hugging you to see if that fabric is wool or polyester.

    I could see someone doing this for real!

    I know a guy who writes songs about sewing machines – He’s a Singer-songwriter.

    Super clever. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  5. Sheila Landry Designs says:
    06/08/2024 at 2:53 am

    I like the ‘pointless’ one. 😀

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
  6. brilliantviewpoint says:
    06/07/2024 at 6:44 pm

    LOL – So many good ones!!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  8. joynealkidney says:
    06/07/2024 at 2:03 pm

    Groan. This former quilter is in stitches.

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

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