Just Stuff

This week I’ve given up on the notion of a coherent post with a real point to it.  Honestly, it’s just too cold to think.  Even with long pants, two shirts and wooly socks – my hands are too cold to think about anything really important.  Seriously, the high today was 48 and the overnight low about 36.  Then it rained and I can see snow on the hills.

Maybe I should get those gloves without the fingers so I can type with mostly warm hands.

I know, some of you are living in areas where 48 sounds like a heatwave, but this is California – land of sun and fun.  Normal weather hazards here involve sunburn and heat stroke.  I’ll admit that once the thermometer reads below 75 I start looking for a sweater.  At 68 I start thinking of building a fire and at 65 I go indoors where there is a heater, blankets, and kitties to snuggle.

Cold just doesn’t work for me.  It does force me to keep more clothes on – which some think is a good thing, but other than that cold just makes me think of how to get warm.  It drives from my brain all the things I was going to write about; and when even clicking the mouse button causes me to fear that my fingers will stick to them so doing my normal pre-post research lacks enthusiasm.

Pre-post?  Is that a word?  before-after.  Humm.

Anyway, I did listen to a little music before writing.  Which is always nice and with headphones got my ears slightly warm.  Didn’t help my fingers.

It’s been cold all week and looks like there’s no warming trend in our future.

Despite the cold last week Heather and I did manage to get the final copy of There was a Time and all the contract stuff over to the publisher’s office where they promptly sent back a list of corrections they’d like to make.  I’m hopeful that late next week we’ll get the PDF proof to approve and can move on to the printing process.

One of the reasons I decided to use this publisher is that I have more control over the printing process than I would with Amazon or other on-line publishers.  Turns out we poets are really picky about things like spacing, line breaks, and pagination.  Based on my requirements, I’d hate to work for me – warm or cold.

I have been giving a bit more thought to my book marketing plan.  Obviously, I’ll be promoting it here on the blog and am hoping that generates at least one sale.  If I’m really lucky I might get someone posting a review of my book on Amazon.

I just checked, Seattle, where Amazon is based, is currently colder than the San Francisco Bay Area.  Well, it’s almost always colder in Seattle, but that has nothing to do with my post.

In the world of poetry, most poetry collections are sold through personal appearances: book readings, book signing events, author’s talks, and the like.  There are a number of poetry groups around who will invite a poet to read poems from their work and bring a few copies along to sell after the reading.  With a book on cancer, it’s possible I might get invited to say a church group, service club, or local cancer support group to do a talk about my experience and writing.  Naturally there would be two conditions: Heating and being allowed to sell copies to the attendees after the talk.

Now when I say, “get invited,” I mean find the people running these groups and asking them to invite me – “Hi, I’m Andrew, please invite me to your group to do a little talk and sell some books.”

Yeah, sounds awkward, but it’s kind of how it works.  Sort of. You do try to be a bit more subtle, but the goal is to get in front of a group interested in your topic and is likely to have an extra ten bucks in their pocket for an autographed copy.  Sounds a bit commercial and mercenary, very un-artist like.

Of course, being an artist, I’d never sell myself out for mere money.  But if you do know of a group looking for a cancer surviving poet for their Tuesday night meeting – drop me a line in the contact section under “About me” just above this post.

I should mention that I am a great public speaker and you’d love my presentation.  Not that I want to brag about myself…

Well, okay, I’ll brag a little.  My writing is liked by a handful of people, but get me behind a mic and two handfuls of people like what I do.  Except for being an introvert and not liking large groups, I could make a living doing public speaking.

See this is what happens when it’s cold – my brain freezes up and I say weird stuff.  Looking at the word count, it’s about time to wrap up today’s whatever it is.  I am kind of hoping that there will be dishes to wash in the kitchen so I can get my hands in some hot water for a while.

It’s okay, I’m in hot water all the time.

Just ask Heather.

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Friday Wisdom – Reality vs Fiction

The difference between the real world we live in and a fictional world we read about

is that the fictional world has to make sense.

More wisdom next week,

Andrew

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Wednesday Writing – The other stuff I did

Last weekend was a rainy one so I spent much of the weekend in my office on writing tasks.  I focused on the business of writing.  Getting my book ready for printing, review the contract and other tasks.

Then I continued on cataloging some of my recent poems to finish applications for two poetry workshops I want to attend this year.  These two require you send writing samples and not everyone gets accepted.  I might be aiming higher than my skill level, but working with the instructors at either workshop would be a great help to me.  There was enough in my archives to put together a writing sample and I was able to get both the applications done and sent off.  I have to wait till May to find out if I’m accepted at either.

I did a little office reorg and was finally able to install my new bookcase on my desk and fill it full of stuff.  Now my writing area looks like this:

My new, fully finished, pre-messed up work area.

Well, that’s it for this week and now I have to get back to writing the marketing copy for my book.

If you need me – I’ll be at that desk in the picture.

Andrew

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Writing – Self-Publishing and Self-Doubt

I suffer from writing self-doubt.  In fact, I just googled, ‘self-doubt’ to make sure I spelled it right, was using the right word and confirm that it is hyphenated.

At the moment, I’m not so sure that is post I should be writing or if anyone will like it. 

But, bravely on!

I started this blog in April 2011 and soon will have been at this blogging thing for eight years.  The original concept was to write a series of essays about Jesus’ actions during Easter week.  I was going to write one a day and gave this blog the name, “Andrew’s View of the Week.”  I didn’t finish those essays and never bothered to rename this blog.  At one point I thought of doing a kind of weekly wrap up of my reactions to the news of the week.

But that felt a bit too whiny so I never did it.

Then there was this whole cancer thing that happened to me and my transformation into poet rather than a prose writer.  I think I write the personal essay just fine, but have connected more with poetry than I ever thought possible.  Part of me thinks that something in the radiation treatment rewired my brain – closed a few circuits and opened others.

Weird.

During treatment I used this blog to write about what I was going through and then decided that the discipline of writing every week was good for my creativity and my goal of “being a writer.”  I’m still not exactly sure what that means, and these days I’m more likely to introduce myself as a poet than a writer.

It does bother my boss when I go to a meeting at work and introduce myself as a poet instead of an engineer.  The expectations of some people…

The first time I noticed a tendency towards poetry was when I thought it would be a good idea to write a book about my prostate cancer.  I tried writing as prose – as personal, poignant essays, but instead of my normally good essay it all came out as poetry.

Actually some of it is good – note the near lack of self-doubt in that statement.

As I wrote about me, memories of my mother’s pancreatic cancer surfaced and my poems started including her.  In the end I wrote a collection of poems about both experiences.  It was a lot of work and consumed my writing for a time.

I had thought about publishing it, but – well that whole self-doubt thing: Is it good enough, will people like it, would anyone buy it?

Well, I did decide to push on and self-publish the book for family, friends and the few blog followers who might want to read it.  My wife, Heather agreed to helped with it. She’s an accomplished visual artist (oils, water colors, fabric) and a retired graphic designer.  Her career was in printing and production art. She agreed to do some work for my book, doing a few illustrations, the cover, laying out the book, and preparing the files needed for production.

At first I thought I’d just format the whole thing for publication through Amazon.  You can learn how to do that, but it takes time and can be confusing on what to do.  Between work and not wanted to give up time to write new stuff, I never made much progress with that.

Instead going direct to Amazon, I’ve decided to hire out part of the process.  There is a local company who does self-publishing for authors (still working on contracts with them so I won’t name them at the moment).  They started years ago when they did everything including the printing.  Today they’ve adapted to the digital world and help authors with details of self-publishing.

They’ll take my book, Heather’s files, and do the work of setting up for printing, uploading, managing my Amazon account, and all the little things I just don’t have time or interest in.  What I’ll end up with is a physical book I can sell, a listing in their catalog and, of course, an Amazon URL I can send to everyone who wants to buy.

I have to do my own marketing and worrying about if this is a good idea or not.

Perhaps the hardest part of the process today is just keeping moving on a project that could fail and one that, at times, I feel could be improved.  I reread the poems and alternate between liking them and wanting to rewrite them.  Part of my inner critic wants to polish more and doesn’t think this is good enough.

But, it’s time.

The book is titled, There was a Time – poems, musings, and thoughts of experiencing cancer, Illustrations by Heather and all writing mistakes by me.  It is the poetic reflections of my cancer treatment and my reactions to watching my mother die.  It’s an emotional journey.

And it’s time for it to leave my desk and find whatever readers it can.

I’ll post the cover in a few weeks and hopefully it will be for sale by the end of April.

Until then, I’ll be bravely hiding under my desk wonder why I am doing this.

Andrew

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