Andrew's View of the Week

Friday Wisdom – Gardening

Posted on 04/28/2023 by Andrew Reynolds

I’ve been doing some work in the garden this week and here’s a few thoughts on gardening:

Why did the tomato blush? He saw the salad dressing.

What vegetable did Noah not take on the ark? Leeks

Why don’t people laugh at gardening jokes? they’re too corny

How do you keep a dog from digging in your garden? Take away his shovel.

Name something everyone has on their face: Tulips

What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter? Well, pumpkin pi of course …

I went to listen to a talk by a master gardener about herbs. It was sage advice.

When I was a kid, I made a lot of money removing leaves from gardens – I just raked it in.

I told my wife that I didn’t think those were the right shoes for gardening, but now she digging in her heals.

Grass is dangerous – it’s full of blades.

Never put a plant on a cheerleading team – they only root for themselves.

I saw my neighbor digging $20 bills into his garden. He said he wanted to make the soil richer.

Posted in wisdom | Tagged garden jokes, humor, wisdom | 20 Comments

This week I got a quote to replace my A/C system as it’s starting to fail. After looking at the quote, and recovering from the fainting spell, I got thinking about mechanics in general. Here’s what I know:

A robot mechanic is never lonely – they’re always making new friends.

Stopped by the local car repair shop and all the mechanics were drinking coffee – I think they were on a brake.

I told the repair shop that my car was making this strange humming noise. They said it’s likely because my car didn’t know the words.

Does a mechanic need a current license to work on an electric car?

I thought of becoming an elevator mechanic, but I’ve been told the job has serious ups and downs.

I dreamed that I was a mechanic fixing wreaked cars – it was an auto body experience.

To make a mechanical frog, you can’t use bolts. You have to use rivets.

A jumper cable walks into a bar and the bartender yells, “Don’t start anything.”

Never trust a car repair man who rides a bicycle to work.

The mechanic just finished install a new tail pipe. He was exhausted.

We couldn’t fix your brakes, so we made you horn louder.

Is it true that Honda mechanics have to take Civics lessons?

Posted in wisdom | Tagged humor, wisdom | 28 Comments

Friday Wisdom – Spring

Posted on 04/14/2023 by Andrew Reynolds

By the calendar we’re officially in spring. The weather here in the high desert has been mostly spring like for a week or so, but there is still a chance we might get a hard frost or even snow between now and June. Well, up here it’s possible to get snow in July (yes, there has been). Our feeling of spring has been reenforced by needing to get out and start doing yard work. This time of year the real question is: When should we turn the irrigation on? Well here’s what I do know about spring:

Why couldn’t the little flower ride a bicycle? It’s petals were too small.

Did you know that sheep go on spring breaks? Yup, the go to the Baa-hamas.

I just found out that the King’s favorite kind of weather is Reign-y.

What goes up when the rain comes down? Umbrellas.

The weather service just say that there is a it might rain chickens and ducks next week – they told us to prepare for foul weather.

I just saw that my plum tree is starting to bud out. That’s going to be a re-leaf.

I don’t think my neighbor understands gardening, he just put a packet of seeds in his pond because he wants to grow watermelons.

I saw two flowers out on a date together. Nothing like a budding romance.

Did you know there’s a difference between a spring roll and a summer roll? Its the seasoning.

I think frogs are the happiest animal. They can just eat what bugs them.

I have Irish relatives and every spring they drag out the Paddy O’Furniture.

Well, about my diet, my winter fat is gone. Now it’s all spring rolls.

I was going to plant some flowers today, but I haven’t botany.

Posted in wisdom | Tagged humor, spring jokes, wisdom | 21 Comments

Wednesday Working – Can You Dig It?

Posted on 04/12/2023 by Andrew Reynolds

The weather has warmed up here and we’ve now moved into trenching season (the time after third winter and first false spring just before summer meltdown). That’s right, it’s time to dig up landscaping irrigation pipes, fix the ones frozen over winter and make the needed upgrades. I had a pipe burst this winter and discovered that the valve that controls the pipe is broken and needs fixing or replacing. Sadly, the pipe is 32 inches underground so my new exercise program is to grab a shovel and dig for one hour a day until I get a hole big enough and deep enough for me to get to the valve.

So far I’m about 26 inches deep with a hole just barely big enough for me to stand in. I calculated that I need to move about 30 square feet of dirt to replace the valve. I’m at about six moved so far:

And here’s the hole it came out of:

For the record, I won’t be using my exercise bike while this project is going on – at least I’ll be doing those upper body exercises the doctor wants me to do.

If you need me, I’ll be looking for my bottle of ibuprofen.